Being a bipolar and deal with family

I’m diagnosed bipolar last August, I’ve been taken medication for over a year and I’m dealing with some of the issues caused by bipolar, especially financial crisis. So I’m not currently seeing a therapist.

Having had therapists in the past for over 4 years, and had different other forms of mindful and spiritual practices, I’m aware when I don’t feel like myself.

Such as when I patronise my mom when I feel challenged by her questions. I understand it’s most likely I’m projecting what I felt from others. And I regret greatly after I’ve talked to my mom in the demeaning way.

Because of craving for intimacy and thinking that will be the solution for everything, I think I have gone a bit too comfortable with my previous relationship that I could’ve broken up with that relationship at least a year earlier than it did. Now two years later I’m still beating myself for the time lost, and I feel unfair about him being in a new relationship so fast. I feel pain, disappointment and despair. I want to let go of these feelings. And definitely don’t want to pass these feelings to the ones that I love, my family.

I feel like I have so many things to work on:

• my financial issues;
• my intimacy issues;
• my confidence and peace with aging (now that I’m 33 and single I feel lonelier than ever, but I know meanwhile that I shouldn’t be pursuing company just because I don’t want to be alone)

Honestly I don’t know what my goal is for this post thread, I don’t have a question to ask, I don’t want to hear similar or other sob stories to make myself feel better. I guess I’m posting because I’ve come so far in this process of the 15? I think or 16? Cup and it’s a request/encouragement to write a post.

So here I am. Sad and lost at 33, trying to find a way out.