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Accountability thread 9/16 - 9/22

Turtleonmyleftarm September 16th

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the safe space where @Phoenix22k @enigmaticOcean8813 @orangeSpruce9113 and I share our journey together to overcome eating disorders. 

Everyone is welcome to join and share their stories and thoughts.

Sending positive vibes and lots of love

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Phoenix22k September 16th

Monday 9/16

Had quite a big victory last night. It was late, not quite ready for bed, but in between dinner and when I wanted to go to bed. ED brain kicked in to eat to appease my boredom. It was rough, but I just went up to my bedroom, a bit earlier, and layed down resting. I kept going through my mind about how i wanted to "feel" in the morning and how much better I will feel if I don't have a session. I drifted off to sleep eventually...

Woke up feeling really great! I'm so pleased with myself that I didn't let ED brain win. Chest/Back routine and a run. I mixed up my route a little bit and worked on some higher weights/reps.

School went well also. I developed a head-ache as the day went on though. I think some of this is perhaps "withdrawl" from the lack of a sugar/rush purge that I normally would have. When I got home I rested a little bit, had my "Moster energy drink" as a treat and read. Now I'm feeling MUCH better. Headache is gone and I truly think it was just ED brain trying to trick me.

I also decided to come here and check up on you all and your awesome stories :)

Feeling good and going to make dinner and relax the rest of this evening.

2 replies
orangeSpruce9113 September 17th

@Phoenix22k


That’s awesome progress! I’m very impressed with how you handled that situation and will take note for my own experiences if they come. Good work!

Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 17th

@Phoenix22k

Hi Phoenix, I’m really proud of you! It couldn’t have been easy to resist, but you managed to take control and not let that damned ED brain win. You’re such a great example of strength and awareness! 🎉 It looks like you're making huge progress, and the fact that you woke up feeling so good proves it.

I totally understand the headache and the lack of sugar, but it's awesome that you found a way to manage it by resting and treating yourself to your Monster energy as a reward. Plus, caffeine can sometimes help with headaches, so maybe the drink played a part in making you feel better too. I'm really happy to hear that you're sticking to your routine and feeling stronger, both physically and mentally. Keep it up, one step at a time. 💪

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orangeSpruce9113 September 17th

9/16 Monday


Hi guys! Another day binge freeeeeee! I know I keep updating you guys saying binge free but I would also like to add that I haven’t even had urges either which is obviously really nice but weird to me. They kind of just disappeared?? Anyways, I’m feeling really great and will keep updating you guys!

1 reply
Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 17th

@orangeSpruce9113

Hi Orange, 
Great job! What is this? Day 11?
It is amazing you're not only binge free, but also your cravings have improved so much they've basically disappeared. I think it's incredible how much your body and your mind have benefitted from this change of behaviour and how well they've adapted to the new situation, helping you and pushing you to continue on this path. 
Keep up the good work! 💪

1 reply
orangeSpruce9113 September 17th

@Turtleonmyleftarm


Thank you! It’s either day 10 or 11 I can’t even remember anymore haha

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Phoenix22k September 17th

@orangeSpruce9113

Amazing Orange! The fact that you "lost track" of the days is incredible. 

When I sought out therapy for my ED I also met with a nutritionist. Her insight was really helpful and mentioned that after some days of "successful" eating our bodies do adjust and can limit the urges we once had. Though it might take time still, perhaps your brain is just re-evaluating what it wants/needs.

It could also be that your medications are kicking in too. Either way, it is so wonderful to hear how great you feel!

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Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 17th

Hi everyone,
Here's my accountability post for Monday, September 16th.

After having pizza on Sunday night, my brain didn’t want me to have breakfast. So, taking advantage of the fact that I had used the oven the night before, I tricked myself and had prepped ahead a healthy apple oats crumble with cinnamon. Heated up nicely in the microwave, it tasted like it was freshly made, and the smell was irresistible. So, even my ED brain didn’t have much to argue with.
Work went well – busy, but all good. I stuck to my snack plan perfectly. However, at lunch I restricted a bit (mainly fats), and at dinner I cut back both carbs and fats.

I think I’ve identified my biggest obstacle: the upcoming dietitian appointment on Thursday. I don’t want to step on that scale and show that something has changed, because during my first appointment, it felt like they "underestimated" my problem, like they didn’t give it the attention it deserved and didn’t follow up with me in the right way. So, if during this check-up I’ve gained weight – even with their lack of support – it would feel like confirming to them that my anorexia isn’t that serious, or even real.

And I realize I’m just hurting myself with this thinking. It doesn’t change anything for them! It’s me who’s ruining my own life. I’m aware of it, and I want to change. But when it comes time to actually weighing the food to put on my plate, I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not fully conscious of why I’m restricting (this whole thought process I’m sharing now came to me "after the fact"), but I still restrict.

Obviously, I need to work on convincing my mind to act differently, more rationally. But looking on the bright side, even if I don’t manage to do that now, the appointment isn’t far off, and maybe after that I’ll be able to change?

On a different note – Phoenix, I’ve discovered another thing we have in common!
We both love Legos!!!
You’d get along great with my husband. He loves building them, and I just love them "in general" and enjoy gifting them to him and seeing the finished builds. But honestly, he does all the work; at most, I help by sorting the pieces by type and color to make his building process easier.
We have quite a few Lego sets, especially from Star Wars, Avengers, and Batman!

3 replies
orangeSpruce9113 September 17th

@turtleonmyleftarm


Good work with meal prepping! I’m sorry that your dietician isn’t taking you seriously or as seriously as they should. That must be really frustrating but you’re right it’s definitely not doing you any good to try to prove them wrong. Keep us updated on how the appointment goes and you got this!

Phoenix22k September 17th

@Turtleonmyleftarm

I love how our similarities continue! You have no idea how much that means to me. I know I am quite the "unique" person. I march to the beat of my own drum, and am learning to accept that. Hearing how much I have in common with someone is so reassuring. 

I have a rather extensive collection... mainly the UCS Star wars sets, over the summer I put together Rivendell and have the Tower of Barad Dur yet to complete...

Anyway, great job eating and planning out your breakfast and "sneaky" ways to overcome ED brain. It is interesting how we have to think about this, but the fact we are starting to find success is encouraging. It just reminds us that we are, well, different than the "normal" folks. But that is OKAY.

I really understand your emotions around your dietician appointment coming up. How they may see your progress and be like "well my job is done!" while they do not see the whole picture. I felt the same way when I was going to therapy. I would "check the boxes" and it would appear I was improving, which I was, but I still didn't believe it within. 

Virtual hug incoming

"And I realize I’m just hurting myself with this thinking. It doesn’t change anything for them! It’s me who’s ruining my own life. I’m aware of it, and I want to change. But when it comes time to actually weighing the food to put on my plate, I can’t bring myself to do it"

I shed some tears for you, and me, because I battle these thoughts regularly. I KNOW what I need to do. I KNOW how to eat right. I KNOW how much better I feel when I do, but there is a little piece that just constantly tells me to abandon ship, nagging at me, and sometimes I let it win. I am my own worst enemy. 

I live with so much guilt over my past, and shame, and I whittle away at it with my progress, but it is still a boulder. Sorry, I didn't mean to turn your post into my own thoughts entirely, but just know that I feel the same way.

You are healing and making great progress. It is not for someone else to decide if we are "healed" or not but something we will eventually "feel" perhaps. I do think though that hearing some praise from therapists or others is encouraging.

Convincing ourselves we are healing. That is part of what I need to do as well. It goes back to us being perhaps impatient and just so hard on ourselves. With the gym, it is easy to monitor progress, but with these mental challenges that are regular, harder to do so. 

We are unraveling years of negative thought patterns and being our worst enemies. Let's try and trust the process and keep battling day by day. Just as LEGOS are a bunch of separate pieces at the beginning, in the end they turn into masterpieces. I say we are on our way there :) <3

Sorry for the long response, and I hope it translates well. I say all this to you because I need to see the words for myself as well.


1 reply
Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 18th

@Phoenix22k

Hi Phoenix,

It’s really amazing to see how many things we have in common. Even though sometimes we convince ourselves that our uniqueness is what makes us special—and we should be proud of it, without conforming to others—finding someone similar to us, someone we can share a sense of belonging with, is rare. But when it happens, it makes us feel more understood and less alone. This connection we’re building is truly a gift, and I don’t take it for granted.

Please don’t worry at all about talking about yourself in your response. In fact, I really appreciate it. This is the kind of response I prefer, because it’s genuine, deep, and makes me feel even more that you truly understand what I’m going through. It’s such a relief to know I’m not fighting these battles alone, and realizing that others share the same feelings gives me a sense of closeness that is truly comforting.

Regarding your reflection on therapy, and how it sometimes feels like we’re just "checking boxes" while the internal sense of progress feels more complicated, I resonate with that so much. In fact, I think that’s one of the things holding me back for my appointment tomorrow. The weight gain would be one of those boxes checked, but without real internal improvement.

I was really struck when you said you’re your own worst enemy. That’s exactly how it feels for me too, and sometimes it seems like a constant struggle against that inner voice that tries to sabotage me. But knowing that you’re also fighting the same battles and still managing to keep going really inspires me to do the same.

Your thoughts on guilt about the past touched me deeply. I don’t have guilt exactly, but I do carry this "memory" of who I used to be in the past (the "fat" version of me), and sometimes it feels almost impossible to shake off, even though I know that real change has happened. I believe the fact that we’re aware of this and that we keep trying to improve and face these challenges is already a huge accomplishment. And like you said, it’s not for others to decide when we’re "healed." Maybe it’s something we’ll feel within when the time comes. Or at least, I hope so.

Because— and I know this probably makes me sound foolish— right now I base much of my sense of whether I’m doing the "right" or "wrong" thing, whether I’m improving or regressing, on external people. Not just anyone, of course, but external people I trust (like my husband, or my personal trainer). When they point out that I’m doing something "right," it charges me up like a spring, and I keep pushing forward like a train on that path. If I don’t get that external feedback, I struggle to recognize my own progress or healing signals. That’s why I said I hope one day I’ll be able to see it for myself.

I loved your LEGO metaphor! I think it’s the perfect image to describe this process. Every small action we take, every battle we win, is like another piece that adds to something bigger.

Thank you again for your words. They make me feel less alone in this journey and remind me that, despite everything, we’re making progress.

Sending you a big hug!

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Phoenix22k September 17th

Tuesday 9/17

A nice day! Usual AM workout/run. School went well. Interestingly, I got less sleep than I did the night before and I was anticipating feeling really tired and having a headache later in the day. To my surprise 3:00 came and I still felt great. Yesterday, I had ample sleep and had the headache? My body is just confusing me there. I know there are many variables at play but still.

Anyway, feeling good, feeling motivated, and my little journal motivation today I told myself "I am Victory". Silly, but it has resonated with me throughout the day.

Since the evenings have been a time for ED brain to kick in, after dinner/between bed, I'm going to try to set up a new routine that will help me clean up the day, occupy myself, and not give ED brain as much of a chance to kick in. I plan on eating dinner, watching an episode or two of a show, then just wrapping up dishes, brushing my teeth, and seeing what follows that. I know that a nice clean mouth has helped keep thoughts of binge eating away in the past. I just NEED to do it.

I know what I should do, it is time to simply do it.

2 replies
orangeSpruce9113 September 18th

@Phoenix22k


I agree brushing my teeth definitely helps. I’m glad you’re setting up a routine for yourself I hope it helps!

Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 18th

@Phoenix22k

Hi Phoenix!

It sounds like you had a really solid day! I totally get what you mean about your body confusing you with sleep and energy levels. It’s crazy how sometimes you expect to feel awful but then you end up feeling great, and other times, despite plenty of rest, your body throws you a curveball. I guess there really are so many factors at play that it’s hard to predict.

I love your little journal motivation—"I am Victory" is such a powerful mantra. Definitely not silly! If it resonated with you and gave you that boost, then it’s clearly doing its job. Did you ever try the “superhero” pose? I think it could be useful for you too. Try and check it out, you can find more information about it online by googling “superhero pose Amy Cuddy”.

It’s awesome that you’re thinking of setting up a new evening routine to combat ED brain. That’s such a smart approach, and I think being proactive about it will help you a lot. I like the idea of keeping yourself busy with small tasks and self-care—especially brushing your teeth early. It makes a huge difference, like you're mentally closing the door on the day.

You’ve got the right mindset. You know exactly what needs to be done, and you’re already on the path to doing it. Keep that momentum going—you’re doing great!

Sending good vibes your way!

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orangeSpruce9113 September 18th

9/17 Tuesday


Hi all! I had such a good day today guys! I went to the beach with my friends and just had so much fun and of course no binging! I felt really confident in my body too which was so refreshing. I actually also went out to dinner with my family and friends which was the cherry on top for the day. Anyways, hope you all had great days as well!

1 reply
Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 18th

@orangeSpruce9113

Hi Orange!

I’m so happy to hear you had such a great day! A beach day with friends, no binging, and feeling confident in your body? That’s AMAZING! It sounds like everything came together perfectly, and I’m really proud of you for how you’re handling things.

Going out to dinner with family and friends to top it all off sounds like the perfect ending. It’s so refreshing to hear how well you're doing!

Thanks for sharing your good vibes 🥳😎🏖️🏝️

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ClaraRoseDreamer September 18th

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Hi, I'm know this is a group for specific people but I was scrolling through and saw how positive you were about recovery and how you are all helping each other. I really needed that today. Yesterday was a bad day for my ED but I like the idea that I can hold myself accountable for what happens today. So today I don't want to let my ED win. I think having that in writing might help me today. Sorry if I'm intruding on your group! I hope you're all having a wonderful day. You all deserve so much to be free and happy ♥️

6 replies
Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 18th

@ClaraRoseDreamer

Hi Clara Rose,

Thank you for posting in our accountability thread and for your lovely message. No, this space isn’t just for me, Phoenix, Ocean, and Orange. Everyone is welcome here! In fact, if you’d like to join our little group and share your days and thoughts with us, we’d love to have you.

I won’t lie, I’m not always so positive. You must have read one of my messages from one of my better days, hahahaha! Unfortunately, one thing we’ve all realized through our daily messages over the past few weeks is that life with an eating disorder is never linear. There are always good days and bad days, and sometimes we just feel like giving up. Ups and downs. But every good day, every small step forward, is progress. These little improvements gradually build the ladder that will help us climb out of the hole we’ve fallen into. Phoenix made a great analogy about LEGO blocks a few posts ago that captures this idea perfectly.

We’re here to support one another and help each other see these steps forward—because it’s often hard to notice them on our own. Since, like us, you don’t want your ED to win, join us in this fight. Let’s battle it together. And if you ever want to talk, we’ll be here to listen!

1 reply
ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Thank you so much. Your message means a lot to me. I like the idea of building a ladder as I definitely feel as though I've been in that hole for too many years now. I'd love to continue sharing my thoughts and hopefully be able to support you all as well. 

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Phoenix22k September 18th

@ClaraRoseDreamer

You are not intruding at all!!!! I love that you found us here.

It has been a few months since we started this up and it has really helped me gain confidence in myself and most importantly realize, I'm not alone. I've struggled with ED for years at this point and just always thought I was the only one experiencing things like I have. Little did I know there are many of us.

We are all here to help and share our journey. The ups, downs, and in between :)

1 reply
ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@Phoenix22k

Thank you so much Phoenix. I find opening up to people really difficult but it's so nice to talk to people who understand. It makes me feel less alone ♥️ I hope you have the best day today

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orangeSpruce9113 September 19th

@ClaraRoseDreamer


Hi! I’m glad you found us. This group is really really supportive and I hope we will be able to help you through your journey!!

1 reply
ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@orangeSpruce9113

That's really kind of you. Thank you 

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Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 18th

Hi guys,

Here’s my accountability for Tuesday the 17th and, partially, for Wednesday the 18th. I’m not sure I’ll be able to write to you tomorrow, so I’d rather get ahead with my report for today, especially since by Friday, when I sit down at the computer again, I might have already forgotten some of today’s events. Not to mention, I have the appointment with the dietitian on Thursday, which I mentioned in a previous post, and I think that will be the main focus of the next update, taking up space for everything else.

But let’s get into it! On Tuesday morning, I braved the cold (I’m not sure what happened, but it’s gone from a tropical summer to late November here in just a few days!) to take my usual walk with the dogs, then had breakfast and headed off to work. During my lunch break, I went to the gym, and at one point, I was doing an exercise (bench press with a barbell) and found it much, much harder than usual. I asked my trainer if he had added more weight than usual, and he said no. I asked again after the second set, and he confirmed it was the same weight we’d used previously. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, other than feeling a bit disappointed. But I was too busy focusing on the various exercises he was guiding me through to dwell on it.

However, when I got back to the office, I started to think about it again, and it began to bother me. How could it be that I wasn’t able to lift the same weight as before? Had I gotten weaker? Was it the effect of the recent restrictions? Later that evening, my husband went to the gym for his own training session and asked the trainer if it was really the same weight as before, and the trainer admitted that no, he had actually increased it by 5 kg. On one hand, that was a huge relief! It meant I hadn’t gotten weaker, and that the trainer even thought I was strong enough to handle an additional 5 kg. On the other hand, though, it made me a little angry because he should have told me. I know why he didn’t tell me straight away: I know him by now, and he wanted to prove that I could do it. If he had told me about the increase beforehand, I would’ve said the weight was too high, and that I wouldn’t be able to do it.

But this also made me realize I need to talk to him and ask him to be honest with me from now on. Especially if, after my appointment with the dietitian, I’m able to start eating more, I need to know what he’s making me do so I can see if I’m making progress. Because if I had been in a phase where I was trying to eat more and struggled that much at the gym, I would’ve thought, "See? You’re eating more, but you’re still performing poorly in the gym, so it’s pointless! Let’s go back to eating less." I need him to be upfront with me; otherwise, I won’t have the right information to assess things properly. (And no, don’t tell me to remember how much weight I’m lifting because I just can’t, haha.)

That evening, I cut back on portions and relied mainly on vegetables to increase the volume of the dish, but overall, the other meals weren’t too bad. And there’s always that spoonful of yogurt I "sneak" while preparing breakfast and snacks for the next day, which in my head kind of balances everything out.

Wednesday the 18th

This morning, I went for a run and covered 9 km (5.6 miles). Before heading out, I ate a rice cake with a teaspoon of honey, which you know is something I would never have done in the past. But I struggled with the run. Maybe it’s because I’ve been running faster than usual lately, and I’m pushing myself harder than my body is ready for. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t been fueling my body properly... But it was a tough run, and I'm feeling a little bit sore even now. 
Breakfast and snacks (both mid-morning and mid-afternoon) were in line with my diet. But lunch wasn’t great. I cut my carbs in half and didn’t include any fats.

Tonight my husband won’t be home, and I already know that dinner will be as light as possible, and tomorrow morning I won’t eat anything before my appointment with the dietitian (which is at 8 a.m.), so there’s less chance that I’ll weigh in heavier.
I know I’m doing it wrong. I KNOW
After the appointment I’ll have breakfast right away because I’ll need to go to the gym later that day, and I have a long walk planned on Sunday. I’ll need to refuel as much as possible from after the appointment until Sunday morning. But I just can’t shut up my ED brain and convince myself to eat “properly” right away.

I know I’m letting you down. I’m letting myself down, too! But I hope I’ll be able to write you better and more positive reports once this appointment is over, and I’m feeling less pressure. I won’t lie, I’ve spent the whole day thinking about what the dietitian might ask me tomorrow and how I’ll respond…

2 replies
Phoenix22k September 18th

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Aww Turtle, first off sending love and a virtual hug. Just know that I read as always and can imagine the inner battle going on in your head. You are still doing a great job but have a lot on your mind. It is okay to take a step back, you are still so much farther than when you began.

Just look at your own post, "Before heading out, I ate a rice cake with a teaspoon of honey, which you know is something I would never have done in the past." That is great evidence of the progress you have made.

Your experience at the gym was interesting! On one hand, I can see why your trainer lied at first, but I do think he should have told you after the fact. Because YES I would definitely be frustrated that I'm eating and doing all the "right things" but getting significantly weaker? I can't blame you for that bothering you. Now that you do know, you pushed yourself a bit more, and yes I would have that conversation with him the next time, or at least have him be honest when you wrap up. Sorry it went that way, but kudos to lifting a bit more!

It does sound like you have been going harder during your workouts and runs, which is great! That does mean that you are allowed to have some time to heal and that it may not be perfect each and every time. (PHEONIX LISTEN TO YOUR OWN WORDS! haha, but I've gotten better in this aspect...mostly).

I can sense the anxiety you are having with this dietician appointment. Just from what I am reading, it seems that in a way you may be "scared" of showing so much improvement that they will say "hey she's healed!" and I am sensing that by restricting yourself you are trying to validate to your dietician you are not healed. That is just what I am thinking, I'm not ashamed of you or think anything less of you.

If anything, I love you more and your honesty and admission. Turtle you are great. You are healing, and you are an inspiration to me and many others. The turtle I met a few months ago is already far different from who you are now, in positive ways.

Think back on all the victories you have had in the past weeks, and I hope they bring a little bit of light to you. I know ED brain is bringing dark skies, but think of your victories as a little ray of sunshine breaking through.

Good luck tomorrow! I/we are here for you and looking forward to your report. 

orangeSpruce9113 September 19th

@Turtleonmyleftarm


You are not letting us down at all!!! Please don’t say that :( We support and understand you no matter what. Everyone is going to have their ups and downs it’s just part of the journey. You will get past this and remember you are always making us proud even if you don’t feel like it :)

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Phoenix22k September 18th

Wednesday 9/18

A good day today! Woke up feeling good and did my leg routine. Upped the weights a little bit and am proud of myself for that.

School went well and I've noticed I have much better energy throughout the day. I'm enjoying my classes and schedule. 3:00 is becoming much more routine to come home instead of stopping at a grocery store to binge/purge like I used to. On my morning "list" I've added, HOME/Clean up/Read and that has been a nice reminder. A bit pathetic, but I do not even bring my debit/cc card with me anymore as it was too much of a temptation to binge. I have some cash but it is just one more little thing to help curb the temptation. It's sad that is what I have to do, but it has been helping.

I do grow tired of all these things I have to do to try and be "normal". It's a battle each day and I just hope it starts to get "easier". I know they say it takes time to build good habits, I just am moving at a snails pace which is frustrating.

Patience Phoenix. I know I am doing a good job, I know again what I have to do, and yes I need to make silly rules/habits, but in the end it will be worth it. Words I just need to keep telling myself.

Binge/Purge free so far this evening and feeling good still, just a little tired mentally. Perhaps a snuggle with Fenix (cat version) will help.

Love to you all!

8 replies
ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@Phoenix22k

I'm so glad you had a good day! You should definitely be proud of yourself for those weights! And for taking the steps towards beating your ED! I know recovery can seem like such a long path for all of us and it's easy to feel overwhelmed by how far we have to go, but you also need to look and see how far you have come already. It seems to me like you have achieved so much and are putting things into place to continue to recover and improve. That is amazing! You are doing such a fantastic job. I think not bringing your card out with you is a brave step and something I might actually try as well. Just continue to fight each day. Small steps are better than no steps and small steps help us to build good habits. The fight will be worth it. Now, definitely go and cuddle that kitty! I think I might go and have a cuddle with my bunnies ☺️

5 replies
Phoenix22k September 19th

@ClaraRoseDreamer

Thanks! Aww bunnies are great companions! How many do you have and what kind?

4 replies
ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@Phoenix22k

They are! Although I might be bias 🤣 I have two Netherland dwarfs called Flump and Rolo. 1000014823_1726784265.jpg

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orangeSpruce9113 September 19th

@Phoenix22k


Yay! Keep up the good work!

Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 20th

@Phoenix22k

Hey my friend! I'm really happy to hear you had a good day!
It sounds like you're making great progress, not just physically with your workouts, but also mentally with all the positive habits you're building. Adding "HOME/Clean up/Read" to your routine is awesome—seems like a really effective way to stay focused and reduce temptations. And it’s definitely not "pathetic" to leave your debit card at home; in fact, it’s a smart and courageous choice to avoid tough situations. It’s totally normal to feel frustrated sometimes with the adjustments you have to make, but like you said, these small rules will help you reach your goal in the long run.

Patience is key, and step by step, you’re making huge progress—even if it feels slow at times. Be kind to yourself; you're doing an amazing job! I’m sure that over time, everything will feel more natural and "easier." In the meantime, a little snuggle with your cat sounds like the perfect remedy. 🐱 Keep it up, I’m really proud of you! And please give Phoenix a little belly rub from my 

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orangeSpruce9113 September 19th

9/19 Wednesday


Today was a really good day. I was binge free again yay but more importantly I just felt happy and surrounded by people I love. Sorry my posts have been short but I’ve just been so busy!! Hope you guys have more success this week!

3 replies
Phoenix22k September 19th

@orangeSpruce9113

Good stuff Orange! I'm so happy for you to have this new streak and for most importantly feeling good about yourself, and staying busy!

No worries about short posts. Sometimes having less to say is better!

ClaraRoseDreamer September 19th

@orangeSpruce9113

Yay! You deserve to feel every happiness!

Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 20th

@orangeSpruce9113

It's so nice to read your messages! Your happyness is contagious, you really bring a smile to my face every time I read your daily reports. You've really turned your life around since starting to post your days here. If I think about how they were when you started, and how much you're having fun now... I am so happy for you!!!

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Phoenix22k September 19th

Thursday 9/19

Had a hard time falling asleep last night so went to bed a little later than desired, but woke up feeling pretty good. Good workout and run, and school also went well. I was anticipating feeling "drained" by the end of the day but I feel rather good. It is amazing how eating "better" and having enough fuel just makes the things like a little less sleep not as significant.

Came home and did some extra drafting work, now checking up on everyone here. I'm feeling motivated for this evening and motivated to keep my streak going. I just need to keep building momentum, recognize my victories, and perhaps not dwell so much on what is behind me. I'm thinking of it as climbing a mountain, I have a way to go to reach the peak, and looking behind down the cliff face is equally as scary, so just focus on TODAY and these moments.

Hope you are all well and @turtleonmyleftarm I hope you know I thought of you today and hope that your appointment went well!!!

2 replies
orangeSpruce9113 September 20th

@Phoenix22k


Yay! I’m glad you are feeling better. Let’s keep the streak going!

Turtleonmyleftarm OP September 20th

@Phoenix22k

Hi Phoenix,
It’s so great to hear that despite the tough night, you still woke up feeling good and powered through your day with a solid workout and run! It’s amazing how proper fueling and habits can make such a difference, right? You’re doing so well with keeping your momentum going, and I love your mindset about focusing on today rather than dwelling on the past. That mountain analogy is perfect—one step at a time, and each day is a victory in itself. Keep recognizing those wins, no matter how small they seem, because you’re absolutely crushing it! Sending you lots of positive vibes!!!

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