My beloved wife suffers from ED
Hello all. My amazing wife has struggled with bulimia nervosa for 4 years. Everyday it’s a battle. She has tried many treatments but nothing has helped so far. I try hard to educate myself on what I can do to best help her though this. But unfortunately we live in different countries for now, so it’s really hard to physically be there for her. I am loving, thoughtful, empathetic, understanding, and very optimistic. I’m quite experienced in personal growth with 16 years of sobriety. I want to help, I want to offer advice, but I’m scared that I don’t really know what I’m talking about. Or that my suggestion is the best for her. I feel like I need to reach out to communities who have been where I am for advice, resources, and support. I am committed to being there with my wife 100%. It’s also very difficult trying to balance my needs with her needs. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and it has led to my own anxiety. Anyway. Thanks for your time and concern
@Lintspace Hi there, and welcome! As someone who has struggled with an ED in the past, it is really wonderful to see you reaching out and trying to learn and understand more in order to best support her. And I am also glad to see you acknowledging the impact this has on you, because supporting someone with an eating disorder can be tough at times and it's important to look after your own needs as well - it's often said that you can't pour from an empty cup, and that is really true.
There aren't really any universally true things about how to best support someone with an eating disorder, so often a big part of it is listening and trying to find what helps that individual most (e.g., for some people, eating with someone - even if online - can be helpful while others find it much harder; for some an 'accountability buddy' to check in with each day on how it's going is useful, for others it adds more pressure). Has your wife expressed at all what she does or doesn't find helpful?
This is a particularly helpful post with some high level do's and don't's that I recommend taking a look at, as well: https://www.7cups.com/forum/EatingDisordersSupportCommunity_54/EatingDisordersSupport_32/SupportingaLovedOnewithanEatingDisorder_27865/
And if you would like to talk more directly about it and talk about ideas for how to support her, or even have a space to share your feelings about it all, you are more than welcome to reach out to me directly.
Take care and thank you for caring so much about supporting her! 