**trigger warning**

For about a month my Eating Disorder thought were really strong. I gave in to them the day after christmas. I binged and purged while watching Intervention. It felt nice at first to get the thoughts out of my head but then my over whelming fear of someone finding out. My boyfriend and other roommate where out of town visting family, I felt lonley even though my parents were in town. The thoughts have been mostly gone (mostly why i havent posted untill now) but i just feel soo down on myself for loosing control... Idk i dont want to tell my bf eccpessialy since our relationship has not been going very well. he's always been there for me but i guess i just dont want im to hate me or somthing