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Help!

dynamicWatermelon1293 February 27th, 2016
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Hi all

I really need help. For years I've been bringing up my eating habits to the doctors but they are more concerned about my depression and anxiety and I have never had any help for my eating. I use to use self harming and eating to punish myself and hurt myself. I have overcome the self harming but not my eating.

i am not wanting to lose weight or stay this slim. I don't make myself sick or concentrate on my intake of food. I starve myself for days maybe because I enjoy the pain of hunger then I will force feed myself because I know I have to eat. I can eat really well for a while after that then I do it again. Just starve myself, it's a constant battle and I don't want to. I really want to gain weight, I look at others and see their figure and wish I had boobs, a bum and nice legs. I am just a skeleton.

I have tried so hard to overcome this myself but I can't do it. I have been this way for years and years.

What's wrong with me? I know there's an espect of control and enjoyment when I do starve myself if that makes sense but I do try to fight it. I think it's only me that's does this because I don't fit into the textbook of eating disorders.

Does anyone understand???

3
UmbrElla1413 February 27th, 2016
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@dynamicWatermelon1293 I'm sorry you're struggling so much, without having anyone take you seriously. I don't have any personal experience with eating disorders, but I don't believe it matters what labels people assign to you. When you're struggling, you deserve to be supported, and listened to. Your worries are valid, because YOU are the person in your body. Please don't stop reaching out. You deserve to get better.

Anomalia March 3rd, 2016
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@dynamicWatermelon1293 - I'm sorry that the doctors you have seen to this point have been unable to look past some other things to give you the support you need with your eating. Unforuntately, I think a lot of people who don't fully understand eating disorders end up just overlooking them when help is needed. What may help is to look for doctors or therapsists who specialize in eating disorders because they will likely better understand what's going on. Similarly, nutritionists with experience in eating disorders might be able to help you put together a meal plan that makes sense for your body and your recovery. And of course, if you need to talk to someone, you are always welcome to PM me. Take care and stay strong, lovely

imwithhealthtoo March 11th, 2016
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@dynamicWatermelon1293 For me this website http://www.youreatopia.com/ helped me a lot and I felt very validated with what I was going through. Additionally, finding a therapist https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php is so important and they will help you uncover the reasons holding you back from getting to a better place. Please reach out :) And know that whatever you are feeling is okay to feel. Maybe ask yourself questions like what is holding you back from eating, how you feel when you starve yourself, and what emotions does food bring up for you? I wish you lots of luck and a healthy recovery :)

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