forum discussion: understanding anorexia (day 8)
hey guys, i hope all of you have had a good week c: i'm here with a continuation of the forum discussion we've been having about anorexia! this topic is sensitive and can be triggering to some audiences, if in any case you feel triggered, please feel free to leave this forum discussion and connect to a listener. please remember to be respectful and supportive toward every participant. if you are in need of more personalized support then please reach out to one of our wonderful listeners here: 7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
here's what i have for you today: people dealing with anorexia dont have a healthy relationship with food. their eating patterns may also differ from what an average person might consume. can you think of any challenges they might face in an event/ social setting/ gathering?
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Hmm, this is a great question! I think there can be a tendency for them to avoid these events and gatherings with food present so they don't break the rules of their eating disorder, or they may purge after eating so they don't feel guilty. However, some may choose not to eat at all and claim they're full or some other excuse not to eat. It really depends on the person and situation though!
@viictoriia ...
Haha ........... yes!
Oh you wanted more than that ....? Specific examples?
Going out to eat at restaurants, especially unfamiliar ones, can be really hard. For many reasons! For me - 1) what to order, 2) what others are ordering, 3) if they'll watch me eat, or 4) what will they say about what or how much I eat.
I guess it's good that at least they aren't ordering for me, or forcing me to eat more than I want to, or leaving me there at the restaurant because they're ready to leave (this time anyway).
I know there are more examples - that even just I have experienced. But I forgot the question now .... so enter.
@cyanPlatypus6370
Those times can definitely be a challenge! Although it may feel very daunting to be in a situation you're uncomfortable with, such as eating at a restaurant, I think it can be a very good opportunity at the same time to have a chance to eat and maybe feel less pressure since everyone else is eating as well. After you've been able to eat in a public setting, from then on you'd have more courage to silence the rules of your eating disorder when by yourself 
@Emily619 ...
It's not "eating at a restaurant" - it was eating at that specific restaurant. I hadn't been there in a very very long time and the fact of having more people was intimidating. But really, that last part, is just ED lying to me. And someone (forget who) said they were glad to have me there/see me. We had 15 in our group! So after finally figuring out what to order - I don't know, it was okay. ~ Platy
^^^What Platy said <3
Also one thing that helps me is knowing the restaurant before you go out. You can look up the menu online and that way ordering can be less stressful. I always struggle with ordering because the calories are right there on the menu.
@summertimeSamness
Planning out your order ahead of time can definitely ease the stress, yes. I'm glad that that can help you 
hmm.. Family's reaction i guess.. going to sleep hearing her crying everynight wasn't easy. It was also harder for me to go to school. Because of course of snack/lunch time. Friends were noticing and one of my friend didnt want to eat then too. And also my gym teacher who saw us everyday and weighted, saw that something is wrong for what i hated her and she was just trying to help..Avoiding people in a corridor. Everyday's going out what changed into everyday's workouting at home and making excuses to friends 'why we have no time today' and in the end friends left me and my sister. We lost friends and all we did in the day was going on the lessons and workouting. Family's friends which we usually went out for dinner together.. well that ended too because me and sister never wanted to go, and avoided. So the meetings stopped and as friends and family friends we distanced away from eachother and they keep asking out loud in public places if we are sick... Next year we changed school and got better. But after a year the thoughts for me returned but i had no control at eating. Then at some point started purging. It continued for a year and it was hard going out with my uncle and eating so much and then saying that i suddenly "have to go" just so i could go to the first gas station and locked myself in the bathroom and got it out of me. Or those times when i just couldnt because of family and had to keep it all inside. So yeah there are a lot more challenges which i probably forgot to tell but im somehow so tired and i hope it's alright.
@Pizzare
Friends, family, peers, teachers, and those close to us in general or those we see on a daily basis can unfortunately place unintended pressure on you to "hide" your eating disorder, as if they find out their reaction may be unpleasant. However, I think instead of them placing negative pressure on you, I think they can also be a source of uplifting "positive pressure," meaning they will guide you through your recovery or the steps to get there at your own pace. Just like talking to a Listener on 7 Cups, it can also be vital to talk to them about your ED, and I know they can be there for you every step of the way It may be scary at first to reach out, but it'll be so, so worth it
