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what is going on with me?!

User Profile: dedeee7
dedeee7 April 15th, 2020

So.. I've been struggling with my mental health for almost half a year now. It started with met feeling very low and it hasn't stopped until last week. I've been to a psychologist and she says she sees signs of depression. I started to self harm and making myself vomit as i was searching for another way to hurt myself. I started losing weight because of the vomiting, i started to become kind of obsessed and would try not to eat and continued throwing up. That was like that for about 3 weeks. It came back a few weeks ago and stayed that way for another like 3-4 weeks. All I was thinking about was how I would hide that i wasnt eating from my parents. When i did eat i couldnt stop myself from getting and wanting more. After i would feel guilty and feel panicked and needed to purge. I also started having suicidal ideation and thoughts about 2 months ago. I had a dream about actually committing suicide. My psychologist is sending me to a psychiatrist and says my situation is not simple. Shes referring me to a mental health institute, but isnt sure if an intsiturte for eds or something else is what i need. This last week i suddenly felt ok, like there wasnt a huge cloud hanging over my head. I felt genuinely happy one day this week and it felt amazing, i hadnt felt like that in 6 months. I cried that night because i had felt happy that day. This week i have also been eating normally, all things that are very foreign to me. Has anybody else experienced this? Can someone give some insight? Im just very confused about whats happening. Sorry for the long thread :))

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User Profile: GreyMirror
GreyMirror April 25th, 2020

@dedeee7

How would you react if your parents were not there with you? If youer parents never existed?

Ifyou were alobe, would you still vomit yourself up?