I need help.

Hello. This is my first time posting here, or on any forum for that matter.

I am a bulimic in recovery. I have been in therapy for over a year, but lately I have been getting significantly worse. I live in Saudi Arabia and mental illnesses in general are not a topic of discussion, especially eating disorders. Both my therapist and dietitian are not ED specialists. Sometimes I feel really misunderstood and trapped in my own struggle. My family members don't all know about my diagnosis. My mom knows yet she doesn't quite understand and I don't know how to talk about it with her.

Lately, I've been seeing a new dietitian because the previous one wasn't helpful. I'm doing a structured eating plan but it really heightening my anxiety. I feel restricted and it's waking up the perfectionist in me. I've been thinking a lot the past couple of months about jumping into intuitive eating, but I don't know if it's too soon.

The uncertainty, lack of support and lonliness is pushing me over the edge. I need to talk to someone who understands, who's been through it. I just need help because the thoughts are eating away at me.