Self indulged

I have not learned as a child to not self indulge to the point where I was eating and drinking at conditions where the Holy Spirit considers it to be wronging my body to eat and drink when I’m not hungry and thirsty for days on end. It was after I had become raped and became pregnant that it started to really get worst for me because it has affected not just me and my body but now my babies too and I have found that eating and drinking any kind of food and beverage has made me become so unsafe in my body that I couldn’t even have my baby stay in my body and having self restraint problems, I was forced to self indulge at hospitals and I don’t like how they didn’t consider me at all. I tried to stop there but they just didn’t let me stop permanently self indulging on the foods, beverages and the forced feedings of fluids to my body. I have been learning about how not fasting is dangerous. I have learned that self love is not self indulging to be healthy. Bingeing to be free of bingeing doesn’t free me from self indulging problems and the will of the devil that keeps me stuck in the cycles of bingeing is no help to me and my baby. I have a really hard time not doing the self indulgences of food and beverages. Eating and drinking makes me worst and they don’t like telling us about not doing the eating and drinking part to be free. They only teach eating and drinking. 

Hebrews13:9 

Colossians 2 

1 corinthians11:27-31