Alone with food

I'm suffering. And I just want to eat so I don't feel this bottomless void that has opened up inside me. As if somehow I could fill that hole with food, fill the emotional hole by feeding my physical being.

But I know that although it seems like the hole is inside me and could be filled if I stuffy body full of food, that really the hole is in my emotional world and has nothing to do with anything I can fix in the physical world. So, I am here sharing instead of eating.

My home life has taken another bad turn after a chaotic first half of the year. My one remaining parent is changing personality in response to the turmoil. Talking things out - several times - with this parent has been good in one way but has brought no change. I am alone in this issue. Not alone in life, not alone in terms of receiving love and support, but alone in how to live with this issue. And in the past, that has always been my signal to eat like crazy.