Please answer

I've been struggling with anorexia nervosa for eight years now. This is my sixth inpatient in this year. I have to gaiain a little weight in order to be let home. If I don't do that I'll be sent to a hospital where I'll be treated really badly (which I know from experience). The problem is I cannot deal with the weight gain. My birthday is soon and I want to spend it at home. What should I do?