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Not too sure I am well

Packita December 8th, 2016

I've suffered from anorexia for the better part of 16-17 years, and I've had periods where I was doing great and others when I relapsed. These days I feel like I am relapsing but I'm not sure. I force myself to eat three times a day and eat well, but forcing myself has been exhausting for me both physically and mentally. Some days I am so tired with having to make sure I eat and eat well that i choose not to eat, almost so I can rest. That is why I am not sure anymore of my current condition. Am I relapsing or am I well?

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ProSupport December 9th, 2016

@Packita I'm sorry that managing eating has been so exhausting for you recently, and I think it's really good that you're trying to reflect on what might be happening inside you. I understand that you're feeling confused about what's going on, and whether you're well or relapsing. It might be helpful to ask yourself the questions: Has your relationship with food been more frustrating and anxiety-provoking recently? Do you find yourself thinking about eating and/or body image during the day more often?

2 replies
Packita OP December 9th, 2016

@ProSupport

To be honest, it's been mostly anxiety-provoking and mentally tiring. I've been stressing constantly about making sure I eat, what I eat, if I'm thinking about not eating and why, and fighting the urge of thinking that eating will make me fat.

Packita OP December 9th, 2016

@ProSupport

And also, body image never and has never left my thoughts. This is something I have to fight with every hours, minute, second of every day.

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ChromeLotus December 9th, 2016

Identifying whether or not your relapsing, may not be as important as remaining focused on your goal. You've done great eating 3 healthy meals a day. If occasionally you miss a day eating... don't get discouraged. Just try and get back on track the following day. You've had much success already ☺

1 reply
Packita OP December 9th, 2016

@ChromeLotus

Thank you so much for your words, I have been trying not to make a big deal out of it but it sticks in my mind. I'll keep trying trying however! :)

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Anomalia December 15th, 2016

@Packita - Whether it's a relapse or just a tough period, it's good that you're recognizing it and reaching out. I've found that those are the times that it's most important to be vigilant about my recovery and to be open about what's going on with people who can help support me. If it would help to have someone to talk to about this, you're welcome to message me! Stay strong, lovely!