I've had a heachache since August 25th, 2014

Most people don't remember when their illnesses developped, they have a vague recollection of the year, perhaps even the time of year but that's generally where the details stop. My neurologist, in her notations to my general practitioner noted, "she claims to remember the exact date her condition started, August 25th, 2014, and even goes further to note the exact timing as being 9:00AM in the morning". I like that she used the word claims.

I do remember though. I remember it being a Monday morning, because at the office I worked we purchased coffee on Mondays, to make the week start off on a happy note. I had a black Americano, 2 extra shots, and about half way through that coffee I started to get a headache. By the end of the day it hadn't gone away, then the work week passed and not one second went by without the horrid pain in my head, then on the 8th day I saw my doctor. Unfortunately he simply wanted to offer me medications to which I refused. Eventually 3 full weeks went by at which point I had my first migraine. I had never in my life ever experienced something of its like nor did I ever want to again. I'm betting you can guess how my luck went on that one.

For the first 8 months I continued to refuse medication and tried massage, acupuncture, chiropractic care, and keeping myself healthy by drinking lots of fluids and eating well. Eventually though I caved and tried medication, low doses to start and to no avail. Then came the neurologists, the CT scans, the heavier drugs, and a stint with a naturopath that lead nowhere.

In the beginning, sans medication, my weight ballooned. I'd been exercising for months prior and was down 30 pounds. With the headache, strenuous movement made things worse, so I became dormant and gained it all back, plus about 10lbs more for added measure. At my worst I was 236lbs, and I'm only 5' 7.5". Once I started on the heavy medications my appetite, and with it my weight, did a free fall. So did my mental health. Anhedonism kicked in along with severe anxiety and depression, fueled by my supervisor changing at work and treating me like I was less somehow when prior I was doing just fine. I deteriorated quickly and ultimately walked away from my job in February of 2016, at which time I weighed about 195bls.

For the next year I tried to work on myself, eventually getting into an intense therapy program at the local university hospital. It was an 18 week process starting every weekday at 9:00 and ending at 4:00. I learned a lot about myself, I even had hopes that perhaps my headache was psychosomatic but unfortunately by the end of the program it did not go away. I'm on even more medications for my moods, some of which affect my appetite even more and am now 165lbs.

Currently we are using Botox injections to see if I can get just one hour of pain free time. I've had 2 injections thus far with little effect but my neurologist is hopeful with the 3rd there may actually be formative results. My mood is better maintained and I'm actually looking for work now, I may even have a job on the horizon! The better part though is that I've found myself and plan on doing a complete career 180 next fall when I return to university to get a degree in something fully unrelated to my current profession.

As for pain management? I try not to take anything unless absolutely needed and I use breath meditation and guided meditations a lot. I find that positive distractions work really well too. There's a lot of muscle and joint pain related to the headache that sometimes just cannot be ignored, and migraines, though fewer, can still be debilitating. I make the best of it though and generally, if you didn't know, you'd just think I'm this quirky fun woman who randomly gets a grumpy face.

So that's my story... in a very truncated bow, covered in flowers and skulls.

ComfortKitten