Chronic Pain and Being Misunderstood
Chronic pain isn’t just about hurting—it’s about being misunderstood. It’s the frustration of people thinking you’re fine just because you look okay. It’s the exhaustion of having to explain yourself over and over, only to be met with doubt, pity, or unrealistic advice. It’s the loneliness of feeling like no one truly gets what it’s like to live in a body that doesn’t cooperate.
People assume pain has a clear cause and a simple fix. Rest, exercise, medication. Surely, one of those should work, right? And if it doesn’t, then you must be doing something wrong. Maybe you’re not trying hard enough. Maybe it’s “all in your head.” Maybe you just need to be more positive.
But they don’t see the full picture. They don’t see the nights spent awake, shifting positions, searching for relief that never comes. They don’t see the way pain drains your energy, steals your focus, makes even basic tasks feel impossible. They don’t understand that you have tried everything, and if there was an easy fix, you would’ve found it by now.
It’s painful when people don’t believe you. When they minimise what you’re going through. When they make offhand comments like, “You’re too young for this,” or “But you were fine yesterday.” As if pain follows a schedule. As if it’s something you can control.
The truth is, chronic pain is unpredictable. It changes day by day, sometimes hour by hour. Some days you can push through; other days, even sitting still hurts. You shouldn’t have to prove your pain just to be taken seriously. You shouldn’t have to explain why you need accommodations, why you cancel plans, or why you’re exhausted from doing “nothing.”
If you relate to this, just know that you’re not alone. There are people out there who do understand, who do believe you, and who won’t judge you for what you’re going through. It’s okay to set boundaries with those who don’t get it. It’s okay to prioritise your own well-being over other people’s opinions.
Your pain is real. Your experience is valid. And you deserve support, no matter how many people fail to see what you’re carrying.
How do you handle being misunderstood?
What support do you wish others would give you?
How are you today?
@ResilientRipples
i needed this so badly today. I have been struggling so terribly lately. I’ve been a partial medical mystery for over 3 years now. I became disabled at 24 and they still cannot find what diseases I have. However I do have spine problems like arthritis, DDD, severe stenosis left and right, sad compression and multiple herniated discs. I have seen over 13 specialist and you would not believe how many are so quit to tell me I’m crazy or it’s in my head. So many people don’t understand that even simply writing with a pen is painful for me and uses up so much energy. I face chronic severe pain weakness and numbness daily. My wife forces me to work full time even though 3 years ago I was supposed to go on disability through the state. I was an electrician and lost my career as that due to my disability coming on strong and fast. Within my first year I ended my last job as an electrician with my walker. I then was on short term disability through my union and was instructed to go through the state. 6 months into me not working at all due to my disability (1 year into being disabled) my wife still refused to get a job. So I did. It was supposed to be temporarily but she struggles mentally so she still is only working a few hours a week and I am so miserable and sad and scared I can’t keep this full time work up. It’s so painful. The never ending pain and never being able to sleep. Or when you do sleep you have to go pee in the middle of the night then it’s another hour or more of tossing and trying to be able to ignore the incredible pain enough to go back to sleep. I often think of suicide even tho i wouod not do that to my family. Im so scared and tired. Im only 27 and i have lost so much due to the medical system failing me, my wife forcing me to do things I can and I’m defeated. Within my first year I lost feeling in my rectum. Now it’s in my female parts as well so there’s really no fun to any of this pain. I’m losing my mind. Now they’re trying to tell me I may also have neurological function disorder and it disgusts me how they treat me. I’m not crazy. My pain is real and my spine problems are real. I’m not sure how they can just ignore this just because I can’t have surgery on my spine to fit it. My PCP is sending me to pain management again. I’ve had the epidurals and physical therapy and narcotics. I’ve done everything. Nothing helps. I smoke marijuana for the pain and even that only takes the edge off enough to where I can atleast breathe. Peoples comments destroy me. I so badly wish I knew other people facing these issues. Reading these forums on here have tears streaming down my face because as heart breaking as it is to know someone else is dealing with this, it feels so good to see and know I’m not alone and this is real. The pain has changed me. So much has changed me.
@Painwalker2563
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much. It sounds like you really needed to be heard today, and I’m so glad that my post was able to help you.
Fighting will get you somewhere, and you will get the answers you need. Keep going. You can always reach out to me if you need!