How do I stop it?
I've been struggling with pretty bad adhd for a very, very long time. I don't get much help, except for my school counselor, but she can't do much without my parents' permission. It can get a little rough sometimes, but just recently I've noticed that my behaviors and mannerisms coincide with stimming and overstimulation.
What I've noticed when I stim is that it's usually not crazy noticeable, even to me (maybe this is why I'm just now realizing that I do stim). It typically comes out as just me biting my lips-(bad if it goes on for hours), finger tapping (just super disruptive), and jogging my legs (this one can get a little out of hand and can go on for multiple hours at a time). Sometimes though, it can get pretty embarrassing. When I get super excited about something I start snapping (this is super embarrassing), most commonly I end up staring off at something into the distance and can't focus on anything else, and other times I'll just tug on my hair (this just gives me a headache). I really don't have any idea how to stop doing this, and it is becoming incredibly disruptive to the people around me.
While the stimming is annoying, embarrassing, and every once in a while causes me mild pain it isn't that bad. What is really worrying me is the fact that I get overstimulated way too easily. Becoming overstimulated causes my patience to drop super low and I end up lashing out at anyone and everyone, or I just kind of brake down. In either situation, it is super embarrassing and incredibly unbecoming of an almost adult.
I'm entering college in a year and I feel that if I can't keep my crap together nothing is going to go well for me. Is there anything anyone can do to help me cope and/or stop this?
@EverywhereEverything
Hi.
I would very much like if your parents would let you have more therapy.
@EverywhereEverything
I’ve struggled with the same problems of ADHD, overstimulation and stimming. I’m a little ahead of you in life circumstances in my mid-30’s. I’ve managed somehow, but can’t give you an easy solution. I too have just realized the stimming part in the last year, although I realize i have been developing coping strategies my entire life. ADHD medication helped me the most. It had annoying side effects too, but I won’t go into that since it sounds like official treatment might not be an option. Some other strategies I have picked up over the years:
ADHD:
For me, this often presents itself in my being “forgetful” about things that need to be done. If I don’t find it interesting, I just don’t notice it.
-I use labeled alarms on my cell phone to stay on a schedule during the day. Some of these are “Don’t forget to eat lunch!” or “15/10/5 minutes till you need to leave for work”. I also put things into a google calendar that can send me alerts about the event. An event might be a doctor’s appt or planning to play an online game with a friend, or just remembering to buy groceries regularly. I also have several Amazon Echo devices throughout the house that server the same function, announcing things like meal times throughout the day so I don’t get off schedule.
-I use an online application called ToDoist to keep several lists of things that I need to do. Whenever I realize I am off track and can’t remember what I am supposed to be working on, I will go check the list for a reminder. It has an app that sync’s the lists to my phone.
-Any notification that can be set on auto-repeat is a huge benefit so that I don’t have to remember to re-add items.
Overstimulation:
Just like you, when I get overstimulated, I either get angry or just shut down. Often one then the other. And yeah, it is super embarrassing as an adult. Unfortunately, I became isolated and lonely for a while because of a fear of this happening, which I hope you can’t relate to. With me, overstimulation usually occurs when something is new, new places, new activities, or new people.
Often, If I know I am going to be somewhere new, I will do as much as I can to familiarize myself with the place beforehand. If I am meeting people at a restaurant, I will look up the route to get there on google maps. I will drive by the restaurant. If I can, I will try to go alone or with someone I trust so that I can get a feel for how the place works. I may look up the menu in advance and decide what to order ahead of time.
I’m going to cut it short there. This might all be obvious to you. It never completely stops, but I’ve found the more familiar I am with a situation and the variables involved, the less chance I have of overstimulation. I do lead a normal (from the outside) life with a regular job and family, and have gone stretches as long as seven years in my adult life without any therapy or medication. So it is doable, if not easy.
@NeuroMisfit Thank you so much for sharing what has worked best for you. And you are right, meds aren't really in the cards right now, but I can totally take those lists and timers! I really appreciate the help.
@EverywhereEverything
You’re very welcome. Something else that occurred to me:
No matter how many coping systems you incorporate into your life, you will probably still screw up eventually. I make mistakes all the time. Sometimes I forget about my lists or disable a timer during a movie and forget to turn it back on. Whenever a system fails, I repeat a quote to myself. It’s something I read once (can’t remember where). The quote goes “ A little of a good thing is better than none at all.” The point being that a mistake, even a big one, doesn’t mean the system is a failure. Taking vitamins once a week or getting a single workout in is still more healthy than none at all.
Sometimes I want to give it up as hopeless and stop trying to use the lists and struggling so hard, and I have to remind myself a few times. A little of a good thing is better than none at all.
@NeuroMisfit
What a wonderful fighter you are.
@NeuroMisfit
Neuro.
How awesome is it that you share your experiences with Everywhere.
