How does your disability affect your relationships?
Relationships are very important part of people's lives. Relationships aren't only romantic relationships with your spouses (marital or extramarital), but are also relationships with your friends, parents, siblings, kids, work relationships, relationships with people in your support group, disability association (a formal nonprofit organization which unites and helps disabled people (one such example is British Deaf Association (BDA)) , etc. Relationships can be formed also in relations with companies you come into contact (buyer - seller relationship in supermarket, customer - official relationship at a public sector agency, disabled person - caregiver relationship), etc. For example, if local community is unwilling to accomodate the streets and public buildings for people in wheelchair, it means that there are issues in relationship (discriminatory relationship) between people in wheelchairs and local community.
Disabilty can have positive or negative effect on relationships, for example:
- positive effects: due to disability you can do voluntering in local disability association advocating disabiled people and spreading awareness, which means that you have got good relationships with disability association, fellow disabled people and local community. If you weren't disabled you wouldn't have the opportunity to have such a relationship with local community and disabled people as you wouldn't have a role there.
- negative effects: if you get discriminated against in any occassions. For example, you wish to go to theatre and a rude employee deny you help and deny you entrance just because of your disability. It is called discrimination.
Today's question:
How does your disability positively or negativelly affect your relationships?
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@gentleSun78
My disabilities affect lots with relationships. I can not do things physically that others in my age range and older are able to do, becaue of some bad physical problems. Yes, I waited 20 years to get finally operated on until the ourcomes were better and I was at a point of no other alternatives due to more excessive things going in that once again were facing me with never being able to walk again. I had the operation, wiht a good recommended surgeon, it went well. But, was hit by a truck, while walking across an intersection 2.5 months after this great operation and an just back at where i was before. So, I just stay to myself now, again, do not attempt to do things I wish I could do or things I wish I could keep up to do with others. I know I will not be able to do it and just end up being a burden to them all. I get asked to even come and do some glass work wiht a specialist friend that owns a company doing this. I can not bend over to do any of this either. I just do not know of anything that I can do to do things with any of my friends and engage in any activites with them. I can not stand, when I can for more and a few short minutes on good days. They never understand this, do not get it, and just expect me to keep being abel to stand there, which I am in such pain, sinking inside and knowing so bad I have to get to a good chair for me to be able to handle to sit in. No one gets any of this and how important all of it is. I do not make this crap up. If I chose to make crap up, it sure would be different things! Then, I have my psychological problems that also keep me from being around and doing things with people. Between it all, it just seems best to stay home always, contact people by other means when I'm up to it, and devote my time to doing things I can to help them feel better in the limited ways that I am able to do so.
@gentleSun78
On the negative: I've lost some friends due to them not wanting to deal with my health restrictions, or due to them not believing that I had disabilities. Others didn't give me a chance to begin with due to those reasons. My ex boyfriend was very ableist and it fueled a lot of internalized ableism in me.
On the positive: I've made many friendships through the disability community. I've attended virtual camps and conferences. I've connected with disabled peers at my old college. I'm part of online communities. My boyfriend and I largely connected (as friends) due to us both having disabilities and health struggles. So it's added positives too.
