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Married 16 years but unhappy

James10123 August 30th, 2022

Hi all, i been married 16 years, together 19 years have kids together with the wife, feel unhappy and like im stuck here. Feel as tho im only here for the kids now,



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toughTiger6481 August 31st, 2022

@James10123

is it anything you can identify ..... a problem with spouse or just general unhappiness ?

Is there any aspect in your life that makes you happy ? do you have dreams you have not pursued?

sometimes when unhappy i try new things........ or shake things up ........sometimes even a change like rearranging a room or painting ... something the whole family can see and enjoy .......... when mom or dad is unhappy it trickles throughout family.

it is easy to get into a rut with family and work and bills a never ending cycle.....

2 replies
James10123 OP August 31st, 2022

@toughTiger6481

Unhappy in this marriage, im happier when im alone or when its just me and the kids then i can do what i want,when i want.

I have tried to do new things but then wife questions me as to where im going and stuff.

As im disabled due to MS im limited what i can do, when i do things my pain levels spike so i nedd to rest but then wife expects me to help with house chores. So i can never rest. As we both dont work were together 24/7, and as she my carer but does more for other people than me,

I just dont know what to do anymore, i have thought about leaving when kids were younger but i didnt as i didnt want to upset them so i stayed for them but now as they are older i feel they will understsnd more. Wife cant see anything wrong which makes it hard for me to tell her how i feel.

1 reply
toughTiger6481 August 31st, 2022

@James10123

I agree kids at a certain age do understand and will be happier knowing you are happier. Living with an issues like MS is very difficult in itself and while it starts out where a spouse may be understanding and a caregiver sometimes they grow weary of the fact that the disease just progresses and most likely will never improve.......many a friend who became a caregiver even short term it changes you.

Ms extremely hard as like you say some days are OK some not....... but the stress and unhappiness must make the bad day take the lead ..... i also have an issue that spouse does not understand that i have limitations and some days i just can't do things...... it is imparative that in situations like this you can communicate and know that in sickness and in health while i fine phrase the practice is much much harder


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littleKiwi9399 August 31st, 2022

@James10123

Why don’t you leave?

1 reply
James10123 OP September 1st, 2022

@littleKiwi9399

I feel as tho im only here for the kids now. I have thought about leaving a few times but i dont know how to tell the wife how i feel and i want a divorce as she cant see anything wrong.

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