New To “Sharing”

I’m new to this sharing thing & no one really knows about it. I don’t have anybody to really talk to at home. I have a mom. But she’s busy with 6 other siblings and I’m 21 & I’d feel like such a burden constantly bothering her with what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m ungrateful. But it’s not like I want more persay? I just am unsatisfied. I have a beautiful son & I love my boyfriend I do... but I don’t feel like I get enough return energy and it’s draining daily... I go to work now because I recently started trying to work again just to get out of the house since my 5 year old has been so hectic lately and I’ve been stuck inside over a year... but I am really sad most days. Mothers Days, Birthdays, & Holidays go by and there’s nothing. I don’t trust my S/O in the slightest when it comes to his loyalty to me. And my son has began to become more independent and starting to want to hit me and yell at me and throw tantrums out of this world. I cried to a lady who drove me home in an Uber a few weeks ago, because she said something so simple about her ex husband to me. I’m trying to figure it out and push through. I know I should be grateful. But my days just go by and it feels like no one notices, or cares about me. At all. I’ve always been alone. I should be used to it, but lately I’ve felt more and more like I just want to drop off the face of the earth again and I don’t want to be in that space again sometimes. I used to be a cutter, I’ve tried to lms more than 8 times, and I’m tired. I just figured... I’d try this type of support maybe.