Im really confused

Im new here and everything is sooo confusing...or well i struggle to figure stuff out lately. I dont know how this works bt I'm giving it a shot.

Im 18 and i dont know what i have. Never been to a psychologist and never been diagnosed. All i know is that I've had a terrible childhood and my life only starting getting better last year but everything that has happened affects me more now than ever before. I wish i had the courage to tell my mom i need to see someone and I'm really just trying to focus on my exams now because its my last year. I hate that i struggle to speak up about my emotions and i avoid my past so much.

Yeah thats all i dont know what else to say