Dear Fellow Human Beings...............

@AJayZa Everything you say sounds so guilty. You caught my attention because my doctor just said that to me a couple days ago. I'm still figuring it out. One thing I do know for sure is that there isn't a timeline that we're supposed to follow in life. I'm an introvert too, so alot of the time I feel like I'm invisible and missing out, but it's hard to get out of my bubble too. It sounds like you have some goals and mind, just think about how good YOU feel when you accomplish something. Who care's what someone else is doing? They are not you. It's good that you care about others, the world needs that but you come first. You're not alone, take care of yourself.

@BlueBalloon704 Thank you for reading. I do have goals, lots of them. I often call my mind a treasure trove because it's so full of thoughts and ideas lol. I have dreams but, I'm afraid of chasing them. I'm afraid that I will fail. I wish I could be like the people who don't think and just jump into a situation but, I'm not and most likely never will be like that. I think about things even years before they happen, which causes me to be even more cautious and fearful. I feel so lonely and misunderstood because I am saying one thing and the rest of the world is saying another and, when I tell them how I feel, I just know that they think I'm stupid so, all I can think of to do is say sorry for my stupidity. I don't even know how to take care of myself or, where to start. My idea of taking care of myself consists of hiding from the world so that I can spare myself the pain of judgment. I don't see anything wrong with it now. I don't mind the depression and, anxiety because I feel that they protect me from even more pain that I would have to deal with if I were engaged with the rest of the world. I know that someday this will end up completely destroying me, and for some reason, I don't mind. I am just slowly waiting for it to happen.