When life just feels like it never gets better.

Hello so honestly I don't really know how to start this so I'll just jump right into it. I'm male,19 years old and I live in Italy. I'm currently in my last year of high school. I have a rare illness called Moebius Syndrome which is basically a facial paralysis. As you can might guess I was held back one year at high school which was tough to accept but I guess life is tough. I live with my mother and siblings,while my father moved out as my parents divorced. The divorce was a pretty rough time to go trough as it was also a fierce fight between my parents who didn't shy away to involve us in their fight. I never really felt a good relationship to my family as I was always treated like an idiot an called stupid. And with me being held back at school I do feel that way. Last September I started my final and last year of high school and I quickly realized it will be the hardest school year I'll have to get trough not just physically but also emotionally with a lot of stress and problems. My biggest problems at school have often been they way teachers and classmates see me which is as a stupid and awkward person who basically doesn't only have a paralysed face but also a paralysed brain too. I tried to convince them that I'm not stupid but it never really worked out they all still treat me like I'm a stupid person.... and to add insult to injury something strange started happening to me at school at certain subject and certain situations I started getting a strange feeling and I started questioning "why do we exist,do we exist?",my heart started to race and I still could breath but I felt like it didn't help anything even If i was getting enough air i wasn't having enough air....idk why this happens but it still happens to me this year again just at school and just while certain subjects and situations and at the beginning I could manage it but since last Thursday when we changed our seat/desk and I was moved in another place it just got worse which makes me believe it probably is something with stress otherwise I couldn't explain why this only happens at school and during certain subjects......I'm really considering telling a teacher about this but I'm a bit scared that this would lead to me being labelled as "weird" but most importantly I just don't know if this would help out or not.....but I also don't want to keep it secret and maybe one day faint in class. Just all this stress and problems make me even more depressed and I feel like I'm not gonna be able to get trough this year......I just don't know what to do anymore. But thanks to everyone who read this I really appreciate the time you took to read this. Hope y'all have a great rest of the day and a great start in the new week.