Scream into the void:Vent in comments if you wanna

I can't put my thoughts into words and it all turns into a mushy mess. My chest aches like im dying but its just my loneliness eating away at me. I realise that all the people who 'like' me really do just 'like' me. They dont mind me being around. I can drive and had a stable job so they are down to hang out. But i'm always the last one they talk to bout it. Nobody thinks of me first, i'm an after thought.

My friends was telling someone else who i was and described me as the fat blonde kid. And when i acted hurt they were like "ya know how it be" like thats fine. All my friends are just using me to get what they want. Money, food, rides, attention. And when i'm sad and when i'm struggling everyone is suddenly too busy to talk. Even when I drop everything to help when they need it.

IK i sound pretentious and annoying and horrible but ive been trying so hard and the turnaround is just the fact that I am unwanted and lonely.

. . .

Never a first throught, never wanted.

I just don't want to be alone anymore.

I want someone to take me seriously, when i broke up with my SO of 15 months my mom literally just went 'sucks ig' and left me to stew in my own hertbreak and no matter what i do i feel like all my friends either hate me or tolerate me. I talk too much and am annoying in the worst way.

My dad,,, dont even ask.

nobody likes me and i cant seem to get a grip and nobody asks me or talks to me.

. . . .

ok