I think I need help (my first thread)

Hi. I’m a 15 year old female and I think I’ve been suffering with depression since before I knew what mental illness was. Obviously when I was younger I think it was milder but as a little girl I was always different, I hung out with the boys all the time and played soccer and had almost no girl friends. My sister says I was one of the popular fun kids but that wasn’t always the case. I got bullied for being a girl that played soccer I was even pushed by a senior when I took the ball from him. I was one of the kind of kids who never got invited to play a game or join a group for a school project, and I sat alone at lunch. My sister was not one of the loving kind and so many of my classmates are the older siblings and I just watch them take care of the younger siblings so happy and so sad that my sister never did that to me. She just glared at me whenever I came to see her and her friends. Anyway I haven’t been properly diagnosed with depression or anxiety and I don’t know how to ask my mom bc in the past and i guess present she brushes off my injuries and we hardly ever go to the doctor (I’m a competitive gymnast). I also think I might have ADHD but I might be mixing them with my depression symptoms. There’s no way to describe how sure I am that I have depression, it’s just a numb overwhelming feeling of sadness. I zone out all the time at school and it’s been happening more often to the point where I’m missing instructions. I also might have insomnia I’ve always had a problem getting to sleep ever since in was little. I usually take 2-3 hours trying to get to sleep and I can’t remember a night where I haven’t woken up at least once. I know this is super long I did not think I needed to vent and rant this much, and I probably could go on longer but I won’t. And that’s it