What do you do when guilt won't leave you alone?
So, today I felt like every person I met was disappointed with me, or annoyed with me, or like I was just wasting their time and space. Normally I try to break the circuit with things like "You did your best" and "You acted like a reasonable person," but today my brain just keeps harping on all the little things I could have done better (Late again, Tangerine! Why didn't you already know that, Tangerine? Ugh, will you ever learn to communicate, girl? etc.)
I'm feeling better, but I was hoping that other people might have some tips to share.
Feelings of guilt are usually connected to self-statements, or beliefs, which include the word should. For example, I should always be on time, or I should never make mistakes, or I should communicate better. The best way to stop feeling guilty is to figure out what your personal should self-statements, or beliefs are, and then dispute them. For example, if you feel guilty when you are late, and you realize that your guilty feelings are connected to thinking that you should always be on time, take a closer look at the belief, determine if it really is true, and if its not, change it. When you stop believing that you should always be on time and start believing that it would be nice to always be on time but thats not always possible you will find that you wont feel very guilty, or guilty at all, the next time you are late.
What Harry53 is a great first step. I've been down that road myself and Harry's advice was on the money for my experience. Equally for me, I needed an external trigger when those automatic thoughts came to mind to stop myself from thinking them. So if a self-depreciating thought came to mind, I'd click my fingers. It was an external reminder that 'hey, I don't want to beat myself up over that' and I'd challenge the negative thoughts in Harry's manner. Believe it or not, it only took a matter of days for the thought change to kick in for me.
It's more food for thought for you to consider :)
I reason it out. If there is something i can do, I'll try sound that. Like, apologising, for example. If it's not possible, i make myself understand that i have realised my mistakes, cry out as much as i want, and that I'll never do it again. And that, it's all part ofcthe journey.
I forgive myself.
