Not really a question, but general feelings about my depression

Feel free to reply and tell me your feelings. I have been dealing with depression for nearly a decade now, since I was still a kid. It's always been confusing for me. I often feel lost, trapped, unmotivated, exhausted, paranoid, and aggrivated. I have a hard time maintaining jobs and friendships and relationships. I don't feel encouraged or motivated to do anything most of the time. I have a lot of ups and downs, but the downs are more severe, the ups are light and irratic. I notice I get dry mouth, my heart races, my hands tremble. I also get headaches everyday. I have so many things in life that I want to do, but I feel stuck, trapped. I can't just go out and do things because I don't have a car anymore and I don't have much money. I just feel like I'm in this cycle of sadness, irritation, anger, stress, numbness, and normality. I don't know how to cope with these issues all the time. I see a therapist twice a week, and she's wonderful, but I feel like I don't bring up the subjects that have been bothering me most. I know I need to address these things, but I don't wanna cry in front of her and I don't wanna face the facts that these things have greatly affected me and who I am as a person. Sometimes I wish I could just move away, change my name, start brand new. But, I know that's a fantasy, one that never works in anybody's favor. I know I have to deal with my issues head on.