Is there hope?
Hello everyone! First of all, there may be triggering topics in here, so please don't read if you're easily triggered. I would hate to do that to somebody.Okay that being said, I do not frequent the depression forums often because I myself do not have depression. However, someone that I'm very close to struggles with it a lot. I'm not going to go into details on this person and their depression because that's their personal story. I don't want to give away any private information and these questions kind of also go out to some other people who I'm not as close to, but I do know struggles with depression so I don't want to be too specific.
Basically, my over all question is as a person with depression,do you feel like there is hope for happiness?As someone not struggling with depression, it's so easy for me to say "There will be better days! It'll get easier! The sun will come out tomorrow!" and sometimes I feel like that makes any comfort I try to get to someone with depression seem invalid. I don't truly know, I don't know what it feels like to be in those low points and if it's worth it to get to those higherpoints, if there are even high points for certain cases of depression. So basically, my question goes out to anyone who has depression, is there really any possibilities to get better? Maybe you could even tell me about your story if you'd like, I'd love to hear it and start some conversations if any of you are open to it. I'd just like to learn more, and I also intend to go to a couple of other posts around here and read up some more. Thanks for your time you guys.
I try to have hope about my situation... anyone who'd like to hear my story can just ask me
I'd love to hear your story. I'd offer to have you message me so you can share it, but you're in the Over 18 group and I'm a teen. So is there anyway I could convince you to post about it here, if you're comfortable with that?
of course. here's both of the time he left sorry it's so long. http://pastebin.com/ZTsu40cr
It was long, but I loved being able to read it. I'm going to be honest, I thought "do I really want to sit here and read through this?" but as soon as I started, I just got absorbedbecause I had to know what went on between you and him. I'm so glad that you shared that with me!
It's funny, because as I said, I'm a teen and I've only been in one relationship. I have no experience whatsoever but there were just a few things in there that hit me so hard because I related to them. To go through these things with both of you guys having mental illnesses must have been so tough. I'm so glad to see that you're still here today. I'm not going to lie, I hoped there would be a happy fairy tale storybook ending but there wasn't because this is real life. Part of me was also scared that there might be some kind of extremely tragic ending, like someone killing themselves.I'm glad to see you're both alive though, and I hope you both work through your problems.
If you and I are both still around once I move over to the Over 18 side (I don't turn 18 until November, sadly) I would love to talk to you. There were a couple of things in there that just hit me so hard and I'd just love to talk to you privately about that stuff. Seriously, thank you so much for sharing your story. It's made me think about a lot of things. I liked the fact that you updated things every couple of months too, because I'd get to the bottom of some paragraphs and be like, "oh no, this is the end??" and honestly I'd continue reading every month if you kept posting, because my heart just goes out to you and him. Maybe it's just naiive of me, but I just keep wanting for that happy ending to happen for you two. You're such an inspiration though, I'm really glad that you still have hope because that is a lot of stuff for one person to take on. Seriously,I cannot thank you enough for sharing your story with me.
omg thank you that's probably the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.... I really hope he and I workout.. I just want him to contact me....;/ and you can continue talking to me here as long as you'd like. too bad we can't share other ways of talking
I'm turned 18 this month. And i'm in the over 18 list so i'm not able to talk with anyone whose in the teen section.
I'm here to talk
Most of the time I feel hopeless. I don't see how things in my life will get better. I see myself trapped in the samegrind year after year, day after day. I feel like I have worked so hard in my life and I have nothing to show for it.
I'm so sorry that you feel this way. This is the exact image I have of people who are struggling with depression, and it hurts my heart to know that people feel this way. If you don't mind me asking, what motivates you? You say you feel like this most of the time, so is it the few times where you do feel like you have hope that keeps you going? Thank you so much for sharing.
I don't call it hope. It's just that it's all I can do isput one foot in front of the other. I think my motivation is that things can always get worse. All I can do is keep working. I know most people want to live to be very old,but I often pray that God will take me because there is nothing for me here.
Hello, Gev!
Having had terribly depression in the past, I can say that the overall situation feels extremely hopeless from the depressed person's perspective. Depression as a disorder is very hard to live with.
Currently I'm recovering. Believe me, I had no hopes for myself. I didn't trust myself enough to even get through the year without commiting suicide. It was that bad. It's hard talking about it, somehow.
So, ifI'm feeling extremely depressed, I will not have a single shred of hope. I won't even want to try anymore. That's how tired I'll be. But perhaps if I'm having a slightly better day I might have an end in sight, but not when I'm entirely consumed with the depression.
If you look at it from a third person view though, then it's a different story. There is hope for people with depression. With the right kind of help, it is possible to overcome the worst of it.
If I can get through the worst of it, everybody can. Every case of depression feels hopeless till you get help for it and till you really, truly work on getting better. Depression can really change the way a person thinks. There's a lot of negativity and skeptism in the depressed person's mind.
Anyways, that's about it I guess. I hope I annswered your question. That was just how things went for me. There's no right or wrong personal opinion when it comes to this. Thank you! <3 Take care. I hope your friend gets well very soon. :)))
This is so perfect, I feel like just from three people I've gotten some very different perspectives and it was just what I was hoping for. Especially hoping for a perspective from someone recovering from depression, so I gotta start off by thanking you for sharing with me.
Now, if you don't mind, I have just a couple of questions because I'm a curious person so I alwayshave to know more. But you don't have to answer any of these if you're uncomfortable with answering them, I'll keep my nosy self shut if that's the case.
A big one for me is, when you were at your low points, feeling like there was no hope, was there anything that helped you feel better? Maybe, more specifically, were there people there for you that tried to instill positive thoughts into you helpful or more harmful? I think that's something that really confuses me, I'm not sure if being this happy little ray of sunshine can actually be harmful to somebody who's hit an all time low in their depression. And if you could tell somebody who is suffering in a low point of their depression, maybe even at a suicidal point, do you think you could have anything to say to them to help them recognize that there is hope?
Again, thank you so much for responding.
You can ask as many questions, I don't mind at all. :)
To begin with, when we're depressed we want nothing to do with people. Just be left alone to ourselves. But a little supportive company is always appreciated. Being depressed is scary, even more so when nobody can understand. Why depressed people like to be left alone is because more than often other people make it worse than better. It's always very good to have someone come to you, place a hand on your shoulder and say, "I'm here for you. We'll go through this together."
Trying to feed positivity when someone is really, really low is not the best idea. Sometimes it also made me mad when people tried to tell me stories of unicorns and rainbows when all I was surrounded with was black. All I needed was for someone to tell me they care and that they're there for me. If you want to be there for somebody who's depressed, one way to help them would be to just listen to them vent and give them a shoulder to cry on. Empathy is the key.
For someone who may be suicidal, it can get rather tricky. What you can do is tell them you love them and that you know it's very hard for them. If the person realizes you mean it then they might open up to you. Hope is near non-existent to a suicidal person.
Bottom-line: Don't try to preach anything over-the-top positiveto a depressed person. Yes, you can tell them that it won't be bad forever. You can tell them that you're there for them anytime they need it ad that they're not alone.
It varies from person to person how we react to people in different lows. A lot of us with depression also get defensive when people don't understand. Having some understand is more than enough.
You are really considerate and understanding about this topic. For that I'd like to thank you. :))) Please ask any more questions you might have.
Thank you for being so open in answering my questions!
I feel like I can take a lot away from your post. I know that preaching positivity isn't necessarily the right thing to do but I also know that sometimes I'm just feel like I'm explodingto do that because in my mind sometimes I just want to scream in my head, "You must not be able to see all of these great things happening to you, let me show you! Let me show you the potential you have, the happiness in the world!!" I know that's not the solution at all, but there is always still a little part of me who thinks it must be the right thing to do since obviously, they can see it themselves then I have to show them.
And I kind of want to say it as the other ways I have problems with doing this, but it's not that I have any problems with the suggestions you have at all. I understand why they're helpful and I do try to put them in effect. It's more like as someone who doesn't have depression, I get misunderstandings and confused in helping people with depression in that if I tell someone I'm there for them, and I care for them, and they aren't instantly relieved I feel like I'm not doing enough and that there's something else I have to do. I know that could never bring an instant cure for depression or anything, that's just plain silly. But I know if I'm just feeling a little sad and someone saying "Hey, I think you're great and things are going to get better!" can make me instantly smile and want to cheer up, so sometimes I just feel like I'm yearning for that same response out of people.
Thank you for more insight, I really appreciate it along with your kind words. I'm just trying to be the best person I can be for the people who feel like they can't be themselves thanks to a mental illness that's out of their control.
Yes, I totally get your urge to just scream out all these positivity to depressed people, haha. :D From time to time you should keep giving them little messages of encouragements. :)
Yes and that too. There's really no magic solution for this disorder, unfortunately. :(( It is different for depressed people though. It's harder to cheer them up.
You're doing a great job though! ^_^ Hope you have a nice day.
Yes, I totally get your urge to just scream out all these positivity to depressed people, haha. :D From time to time you should keep giving them little messages of encouragements. :)
Yes and that too. There's really no magic solution for this disorder, unfortunately. :(( It is different for depressed people though. It's harder to cheer them up.
You're doing a great job though! ^_^ Hope you have a nice day.
Theirs always Hope , no matter what your going through , no matter how hard ! Theirs always hope to recover and become stronger from the things that pull us down !
I love that positivity! It's beautiful.
AwwThankyoudarling !
Beautiful just like you !
Good question! I can't speak for others, as it may be different for each person, but for me, the best way for people who care about me to help is to just keep reminding me that they care about me. When they let me just talk about how I am feeling, and they listen and be with me it also helps. Your friend is so lucky to have someone like you who really cares to find out what will truly help!
And that's what I'm posting here for, to see what each person thinks individually to get some different viewpoints.
I think it's important to know that someone cares for you, and I've heard a lot that depression sort of makes you "forget" that that's the case, or just assume all the time that no one does care so it's especially important in those cases. You guys are too kind in all of your praise to me. You guys are the truly good people for sharing with me your thoughts on this, so I thank you.
This is amazing everyone :)
Sigh, yes there is hope! There is. Al though days seem so very difficult to deal with, I always, always have a little voice inside me (I like to call it my cheerleader) telling me it will get better and I will be happy. But it's really not easy, sometimes you can repeat that saying "it will get better" so much it seems as though it has no meaning anymore. But let me tell you something. Positivity works wonders and it is a beautiful thing. Without positivity in myself and the world I don't know where I would be right now. Also I've been med free for almost a year now so positive vibes really works wonders. Sorry for the rant. Hope your day goes splendid :)
It's great to hear that you've got a little voice in that helps to push you forward. I understand the difficulty and I agree, I'd like to have a lot of faith in positivity being helpful. Don't be sorry for the rant, I love them! Thank you so much for sharing your reply, I hope your day goes splendid as well.
Hi @barracudajett
I do something pretty similar to that and it's a variation of mindfulness (being in the here and now). No matter where I am, just stepping back in my mind a bit and focussing on details around me. So watching my daughter's smile as if it was the first time. Looking out over a body of water and admiring it as I did the first time.
The point of the exercise is this. Remember when you were a young kid and everything was new and exciting? Its a method that works for me by looking at those beautiful elements in everything around me as if it is a brand new experience. Works for me anyway.
I just thought of something else that might help. I know when I?m depressed I feel quite hopeless and it?s difficult to take positive action. When I?ve read posts on this site like this: ?I know it's hard to deal with, but you can do this. Youaredoing this!? (thanks @LatteJoy!) it both acknowledges my struggle, but gives me the boost to try. Positivity is very important, and if you frame it in such a way as to tell the person you care and you believe in them,it might make the message easier to hear or be believed.Has anyone else read a postthey found really helpful? Maybe we can start adding them here.
Great ida, @beansidhe! :)