Sudden loneliness

Let me start by saying that I'm not normally a very emotional person, I haven't struggled particularly with mental health in my life so far (I'm only 16 so we shall see); obviously I've had ups and downs but I've managed to keep a level of composure, whether it's a facade or not, it has been comforting in that I don't get as easily affected as others while keeping my empathy whole.

However the past few months have been getting worse and worse, I wouldn't say I have depression as I find a lot of the time I am happy, but I have been feeling a deep sense of loneliness and isolation.

Sometimes it can come randomly but most of the time it comes at night, sometimes when I'm alone but I'm normally fine with friends and family.

The feeling Is somewhat difficult to describe, most of the time it's just a deep feeling of isolated, bring thoughts that I'm lonley and have no real friends, that I can't reach out to anyone, that I lack any real connection, but sometimes it can be so much worse. Sometimes I'm kept awake at night, shivering or crying to the the same feelings added with dread that my life is practically already over, that I'm destined to be alone unless I do something now, which considering it took a lot of self will just to post this you can understand how speaking to family who aren't the friendliest may sound.

This is all amplified by the fact I don't actually think I can talk to anybody but you (whoever is reading). My family is complicated at best, my mother is the loveliest most caring woman I know, and my father can also be great but he struggles with anger issues, he's spontaneous, ready to explode: and can get violent quickly, relying on alcahol to remain calm(not to great effect). My friends are also great, some of the smartest, kindest and most selfless people I know. Yet they've openly admitted when we started talking about other stuff that they don't know how to talk about emotions: they feel uncomfortable when doing so and simply lack the knowledge. I don't want to risk making things akward or it proving to be useless.

I feel like I'm condemmed , like the loneliness I feel is a pit that I saw too late and now it's getting deeper and deeper, and that I want to shout for help but I don't have a voice. I can see the ladder but can't touch it for reasons I've accepted. These feelings are frustrating and draining and as I said I've felt nothing like it before. I'd appreciate any advice or anything. Thanks for listening, sorry for taking up your time.