Reality
Has anyone felt like as much advice as they get, as much hope they try to have. There is certain point at which they need to just accept they most likely missed their chance at the life they desperately want because they weren’t sure they wanted it or were ready for it yet. I have managed to ruin two long term relationships now. In which I have kids with both women. I have a lot of problems showing affection so I push people away, I’m just tired of everyone’s response being you need to focus on yourself and start over. I don’t think that can happen at this point. Even if I wasn’t still desperately in love with my soon to be ex wife and wanted to move on. No woman is ever going to want to be with a man with 4 kids by two different women. I don’t blame them it’s a huge thing to take on. I feel like I have missed and ruined my chance at having the family that I never got and wanted so badly for me and my kids. I know this is a lot of rambling, I’m sorry. I’m so frustrated and lost right now.
The terrible thing is that even though there is a small chance, there is a chance to get her back. She said I need to work on myself. Problem is that I can’t seem to play it cool, this is my wife I don’t want to “no contact rule” her this isn’t some girl I met at a party or something. This is the woman I chose to spend my life with. How can I let her go, hoping she will find her way back to me or “it wasn’t meant to be!?” My mind honestly can not process what I need to do and it is causing me to act desperate and needy and causing her to be pushed even further away from me. How can I focus on expanding my career, or become more secure right now. It just seems like the most important thing is walking out of my life right now. I know no one will have the answers I seek because they don’t exist but I don’t know what else to do. I’m messing it up even worse and can’t help myself.
@DamagedDad89 “My mind honestly can not process what I need to do.” Sorry you are facing this huge change in your life. Who do you think might help you process this?