It's hard for me to keep friends
I'm not a narcissist, but grew up in a narcissistic household. I have hypothyroidism and depression from all of it. I've noticed that it's hard for me to keep friends because my doom and gloom take over. I'm under a lot of stress and when I'm stressed, the depression and worry and anxiety ramp up and it becomes all about me. I lost so many friends in 2020 and recently because of this. It makes it such a lonely life.
@quickwittedclementine5253 I understand, sometimes when we get really down we isolate ourselves, which just makes us more sad, and the cycle continues. You're definitely not alone in this, we're all here for you! 
I understand how you’re feeling. Keeping friends especially after growing up in your situation is extremely hard. I’ve found that journaling, more so writing down my wants and needs out of life can help me feel better and sometimes gives me confidence to go out and get it. You got this💛
@sunflowergirl99
I keep a Happiness Box Project. Every day I write a note of something that either brought me joy or gratitude. I don't struggle with going after what I want, I can do it with ease, I struggle with positivity and seeing the bright side of life, especially after traumas I went through in 2013. I started this project in 2016 and it has helped, slowly it has helped, but it's still progress nonetheless.
Journaling didn't quite work. I'm a writer, but for some reason, writing about my feelings in a notebook was daunting. Writing on sticky notes or small note papers and throwing it into a box felt better. I open up my Happiness Box on 1/1, read through the notes and look at the photos I put into the box as well. I then scrapbook the contents and collect for a new year. I love scrapbooking and I think scrapbooking the notes in a new year helps too.
@quickwittedclementine5253 Hi... that sounds really tough and crazy because I actually have both of those issues (Depression and hypothyroidism) and it is great that you came here to talk in my opinion. I would love to be your friend and am here if you would like to talk in detail privately about what's bothering you....
I know what you mean. We sometimes use our friends as garbage cans and they don't enjoy that. But it's not your fault, those negative thoughts have to come out and everyone deserves to feel validated. So hopefully you get to satisfy those core needs at forum like this so you can save more positive energy for your friends.
