I don't know what to do anymore
Somedays it feels so incredibly difficult. I feel so alone that its painful. I have learned how to journal and write about my anxieties, but dealing with lonliness is something else. I am deeply missing someone I used to date over three years ago. I havent talked to this person since then and I dont know if I ever will be able to. From the day we broke up to today, I feel like nothing has changed. I still feel so awful about it. This grief completely eaten me up inside. I'm a totally different person. What am I supposed to do? I have met so many new people since we dated, but no one has felt the same. Am I just supposed to keep going on being depressed because I wasn't sure it was going to work out? I have a good paying job in an essential industry and I could care less about any of it. I could care less about my future. Nothing I do has meaning without someone to share it with. Meanwhile, I am forced to watch my friends start families and am expected to support them. If I won a million dollars tomorrow I literally could not care less. Why can't I get over this. Drugs and alcohol dont help. They just make me feel worst. I just don't know how I'm supposed to get through this.
I'm not a Listener but I can definitely feel your pain.. It's hard to understand and accept the loss of someone important (whether they cut contact or move elsewhere) and not feel torn up about it. You have own your pace, though. Don't let the 'progression' of other people's lives make you feel like yours is any less important. Your future does have meaning. It's yours, it's for you. Your entire existence is for your sake, it's to support you in being you and doing what you want. You're on your team. I'd highly suggest you try some form of therapy (you should speak to a professional as to what is appropriate).. I sincerely hope that you do find the company that you need in order to enrich your life - although I will say, that you are enough, have been enough, and will always be enough on your own. Treat yourself like you're someone you care about. I feel for you and wish you all the best! 💖
