Feeling Lonely Trying To Find A Girlfriend
I feel lonely and very frustrated trying to find a girlfriend and a romantic relationship. I've been single for 8 years and I'm tired of being single. Dating sites don't work for me either. Does anyone have any ideas about how I can be more popular with the opposite sex?
Fake it until you make it👌
@plumCucumber8942
Hey plum, I'm in the same boat. The only two relationships I've been in didn't last longer than a month, and one of them was 100% virtual. Being a 30yo virgin can be a real bummer, and dating sites seem to just be there to bring down my self-esteem lol. Having a good sense of humor about it all helps :)
I've been told not to go into dating with any expectations, I consider that good advice. And I know for a fact that there's no way you can know why you aren't getting any matches or why you're getting ghosted. If you're feeling down about yourself already, I'm absolutely certain that you aren't getting ghosted for the reasons you think - you are undoubtedly better than you think you are, especially if you're feeling down. That's just what depression does to a guy haha.
The thing that keeps my chin up is a sense of humor and a focus on loving myself first. When I'm in that state of mind, when I least expect finding anyone (and when my online dating profile relfects that mindset) - that's when I start making connections, both online and offline. I'm far from an expert when it comes to the opposite sex, but those are my two cents. I hope it helps.
Another option is to let a trusted friend have a look at your profile. My sister gave me a couple of hints and pointed out one or two things that weren't doing me any favors. If you don't have anyone like that in your life, there are (or used to be) resources attached to some of those dating sites that do the same thing, including subreddits. However, use the internet with caution... you're only ever going to hear what works for them, and they aren't you. Take your time and stay positive, buddy. That's what brings in the quality matches.
Also - I didn't really start getting the matches I wanted until I relented and began sending intros to my backlog of likes (I use OkCupid). Either I'm super unappealing, or 90% of women on there don't even swipe... Just a light (light!) compliment about something on their profile (their smile, their clothes, their values, even just their face) and an icebreaker question will work wonders. Girls I thought would completely ignore me always say thanks and give me a chance.
Okay, those are my four cents.