Family Stuffs
Hey there! I came here cuz I’ve really been struggling in life.
To give the long and short of it, my father put in zero effort to raise me, has major anger issues, and has made no real effort to work on our relationship (he pretends he does). My brothers talk down to me, gaslight me 24/7, and have no empathy whatsoever (they got that from dad). My mother talks down to me when she’s upset, argues when I tell her she hurts my feelings, and blames me for things that aren’t my responsibility (they’re hers). She is the only one I have any sort of relationship at this point, but she’s driving me batty with constant nagging and I feel stressed and depressed 24/7.
I have given up confronting any of them anymore, as it’s always pointless (I’m kinda the whole family’s scapegoat if that makes sense). I’ve started the process of distancing from all of them, but it makes me sad cuz I’ve had to realize that I can’t rely on any of them.
That’s basically it though, input would be appreciated, but if not, thanks for reading!! 🥰
@MaverickDay7 I'm sorry you're going through that. I can tell you still care about your family despite how they treat you. It must be hard to not have that family support. I've had times where I didn't feel like I had family I could rely on. You know what I did? I made my own "family" - basically my friend group at college. I remember as a kid always wanting to celebrate holidays with my friend's families and go on their vacations. But it's not such a bad idea as an adult now. Lean on those who love and support you. They won't judge and they will understand. Find that circle of support wherever that might be. And lastly 7 cups community is always here too💚
@littleCurrent7762 Yes, I totally second you. I was closest to my dad, and trust me, he was all the family I ever had. I have two older siblings but given their bullying behavior, I could mentally compare them with Cinderella's step sisters (but please don't get me wrong, I am not calling myself a Cinderella here). My mother had a passive personality but interestingly she could muster the strength to shame me for any odd behavior but would conveniently keep quiet when she saw the others lash out at me for no apparent reason. My father's death was a big jolt to me and I have never been the same even when I am in my mid 40s today. My mother somehow married me off to a man who I could never begin to love or respect for several repulsive traits. How I wish I had run away if I had known she would turn out to be so irresponsible. Initially, I tried very hard to be a good wife but eventually felt that none of the things I did pacified him. I felt neglected and unappreciated. My struggle continues with this man who I don't think is either emotionally or financially stable to lend us a good life. The only good thing that has happened from this marriage is my daughter, who is my apple pie. She is my strongest supporter and inspires me for anything I embark on doing. Today, apart from God, my father's angel spirit, and my daughter, I seek solace in support groups and through networking. I, however, choose to network carefully. I wouldn't like to call everyone my friend or include them into my private circle. I do this judiciously and discreetly. Genuine people are hard to find. I also find writing and reading extremely therapeutic.
