Birthday letdown
I’m a single mother of a 4 yo who just turned 40 I invited 30 of who I thought were friends who would show up I paid $3000 for a venue and tours and my sister invited 70 people and only 8 people showed up…
prior to having my son I had lots of so called friends and now that I’m a mother I bought a house thinking I can have friends come over instead of invites to places because it may not be kid friendly and I’ve had I small get together and even family is like your house is too small so now I just sit home everyday no visits only calls from my sister and her 1 year old and my friend Kevin …I’m losing this battle fast…my depression is at an all time high especially since my kids father is MIA after he said he wanted kids by me so there’s that. And at 40 I’m like man nobody is going to want to deal with a 4 year old with autism he’s a great kid…but I get it at 40 who wants small kids my kid was unexpected do to the fact that I was told I couldn’t have kids. He’s all I’m living for at the moment but idk how long that’s going to last!
Honey, try to keep the focus on the good things in your life. Let go of what is no longer there. You have a special personal path in this world. It seems to me that you are holding on to the old, but perhaps you need to sit down and accept what is happening. It may require your tears, but they will be healing. There is light behind the darkness. The bright sun is shining behind the overcast sky. Please don't feel lonely. I read you and tell you - you are not alone, I understand your pain and anxiety. Try to create the meaning of life for yourself, children come and live their lives, having a child as the meaning of life can be a little selfish, sorry for some rudeness. I want to wish you to find a new center of your attention, for example, to make yourself happy, to find a way to your happiness. With a happy mom, any child will be happy, thus making yourself happier, you will make as many as two people happy. Try to take a pen and make a plan how you can achieve this. You will really succeed, I believe in you, please believe you too. If you need to be sad, please live this sadness, it won't last forever, just give it a place. There is always a smile behind the tears. Smile at the fact that you have a baby, that you are alive, that you breathe, you can walk, you can think, these are the significant "little things" that we forget. This is really a big reason to smile, many people really want to have what you already have. Lean on what you have and try to stand up with a straight back, tell the world that you want to be happy and act. Hugging you and your baby
@himydear you misunderstood me, I didn't have a child to better my life he was unexpected. I already understood that a child is another human to raise and take care of another financial strain and I didn't want to have one without a significant other to help as well. I love my kid but the added stress it a whole other level. and when i said he's the only think i have left to live for i mean nobody is going to treat him like I do to ensure his life is quality. I was told i could not have kids. I'm not holding on to the past this happened recently this only happened at the time a month ago where only 8 people showed up my birthday is in November. i understand you're trying to help but it didn't. the struggles i go through for this kid is another stress on top of the stress I'm already going through AND i was laid off recently so no what i should go and smell some roses and do yoga to make it better?! being able to walk and talk and breath is pointless if the quality of your mental health is in the trash, and you have to keep going I don't show my kid my sadness I cannot live in my sadness my mom did that and my childhood sucked. so there's that too
I can feel your pain. I am sorry that it is such a struggle right now. But nothing is permanent. What kinds of things are you doing to care for yourself?@BeautifulLetdown
@bestVase7265 i don't have time to care for myself I fighting to get services for my kid he 5 now and can't even have a conversation with me got laid off so now i have to get government help which is another headache they approved me for $90 food stamps and enough money to pay my bills thats it. so now i have to find food shelfs to visit for food.
It sounds like things are really hard right now. What kinds of other groups are you reaching out to for assistance? You deserve to have food and a roof over your head. Start with the basics. Feel free to come here and vent any time. @BeautifulLetdown