The Plane - A reminder that things do work out

I am a Lego hobbyist - I have been all my life - I have countless sets of Lego. When I struggle emotionally, Lego is my safe place. It is both calming and distracting. And when my project is complete I get that feeling of accomplishment.

This time last year I gave birth to my second child and shortly thereafter I slipped into a very deep depression. Not only was I depressed, but I was also dealing with severe anxiety. I was unable to sleep for up to 40 hours at a time. I would simply lay in bed and my mind would spiral out of control for hours on end. I lacked motivation and spent a lot of time hiding. I was very much in a state of non-functioning.

Christmas was fast approaching so in an attempt to appear as though I was just fine I went over to the mall to pick up some things. I was in the Lego store picking up a gift and saw this plane. The Sopwith Camel fighter plane. I had seen it before and it was a set that I knew I had to have. At this time, my therapist had been encouraging me to get back into one of my hobbies. So there I stood in the store staring at the plane. Should I buy it? Would it even help? I feel so awful. Screw that. I won't enjoy it. Plus, it cost a small fortune. So I left without the plane.

Fast forward a couple months to when I started coming out of the worst of the depression. I was prescribed Anxiolytics that helped me to sleep at night, I was getting into a routine to help me get out of bed, and I had decided I was going to force myself to get back into a hobby. Lego has always been my go to hobby so I headed off to the Lego store. When I arrived, I didn't see the plane. The clerk had informed me that the plane was retired a couple months prior.

Desperate to find my plane, I looked to purchase it online, but everyone selling it wanted more than double the retail price of it. I couldn't afford that. I was very disappointed and felt defeated. I felt like I had been knocked back down. So, once again. I said screw it.

Around July, my listener had mentioned hobbies to me. So once again I looked online for the plane. It was still double the price. I was disappointed, but not as much as the last time. Then, a few weeks ago. I was chatting with a friend and the topic of Lego came up. I was reminded of that plane. So, again, I looked online. This time, I found one for just over the retail price. I was so excited that I ordered it right away. I figured I could justify the money since it was an early birthday gift to myself.

My plane arrived this week. I was like a child on their birthday! I got to work building it right away. It was a 7 hour build and the accomplishment I felt when it was complete was amazing.

It is now a year later to the week and the majority of my issues have been resolved - and I have my plane. It is now built and displayed on my desk as a symbol that things do work out if you're patient and know where to look.

I still have days where I struggle, but they are few and far between.