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Talking to family with depression while depressed.

Kittikatmow September 16th, 2016

It's fair to sat depression runs in my family. Both my parents were on antidepressants for years, my grandmothers were as well, my great grandparents were all alcoholics and as far as I understand it was probably the closest thing they had to an antidepressant back then.

I dip into depression very easily. All it takes for me is to read an article that hits too close to home or to say the wrong thing and my day is ruined. I spend a lot of time depressed, but that's usually fine because my family(husband and kids) don't really notice or appear affected by it as long as life keeps moving on.

However now my mother lives with me, and she is extremely depressed and I always say the wrong thing to her and send her spiraling and I just want to know how I can relate in a healthy way with others without triggering their own issues. Any thoughts?

1
rozie September 18th, 2016

Yes as you say @Kittikatmow its about talking to family with depression while depressed, and agree its not easy. Because the depression colours the way we see things and the way we react and respond.Yet your husband and kids seem to be able to live with your depression, and wondering what keys may be here. Does "depression" have less impact on your relationship with them...and by keeping things moving on is it less evident... in other words has less power or influence.

Whereas in your realtionship with your mother "depression" may have more influence. There will be a history and patterns of behaviour that are likely well established. And you are both affected by "depression" so its more difficult. Can you draw on the keys that make your family function as it does and apply this with your mother. Now she is living with you she may be more affected by what is going on in your home.But please make sure you are getting some time out for your self... caring for others and living with depression is challenging... look after your self too. All the best.