Suicidal ideations...

Hello. I have GAD/OCD and depression, a history of self harm. I've never tried to kill myself but I have fantasized. It's been a long time...but those thoughts have started coming back. Life is getting insane. My family is falling apart. My chronic pain is unbearable and I spend weeks in bed. I used to have a psychiatrist and a therapist, but I don't have insurance right now. I'm going to have it once the new year starts. How should I get help? My thoughts are scaring me and keeping me from living life. My health is in decline. I have never been checked into a mental health facility but I wonder if I might benefit from inpatient care. I don't know. I know I need help and what I have been doing has not been working. The meds I'm on now are just keeping my head above water. I crave normalcy.