Stuck in depression
Hi, I Have been struggling with bouts of depression. I feel very lonely at this point in my life. My children are grown and on their own and I am alone every day during the week. I have no friends for support and feel basically worthless. I have no purpose in life now and dont know where to begin to find something to give my life meaning again. Its been hard just to function on a daily basis. I had hoped here I would find people who can relate to what I am going through and have been able to find their purpose and can offer me advice on how to do it. Ive always taken care of my family first and now that they have moved on, I am lost. I dont know what to do for myself.
@Sumar2
Hi Sumar! Thanks so much for sharing. I can really relate to living my life for other people and revolving my life around others... and feeling empty inside when no one is around. You sound like you are going through empty nest syndrome, right now, (which I will be going through in just another year)... I hear it is a really challenging time for super devoted moms... (Congrats and thank you for raising your beautiful children! I hope you celebrate that and your accomplishments! That's really amazing!)
It sounds like there may be some grieving happening... as I can't even imagine right now my child leaving home. It must be so hard... I so hope you are being extra patient and loving and compassionate to yourself right now.... It may take some time to find new things in your day and to find something you feel excited about... And if we truly ove our children, I cannot even imagine how much I will miss my child...when they arn't home anymore!
I haven't gone through empty nest syndrome yet, but I can share what I did that helped me find my way out of depression... although everyone's path is different. I think sometimes it's just good to know one's not alone. ..
I joined a local 12 step recovery group of people, called codependents anonymous, who are all people who share feeling overly responsible for others and having trouble feeling their own feelings and needs and who struggle with self-care.
I took on the journey and adventure of re-discovering myself and what made me happy. I really had no clue in the beginning. I started to make a "Like" or "Happy" list and a "Tool" liste. I was so good at knowing what other people liked but I wasn't even sure what I liked. I tried different ice cream flavors, I tried different foods, until I knew myself better than anyone else. The trying new things made it more fun. I figured that if I knew my child and husband so well, that it was now time to know me. Part of that, was learning what makes me happy. My tools list is for when I'm feeling bad, and what things make me feel better. For example, taking a hot shower with aromatherapy makes me feel better..... I just focus on very little things, or it can get overwhelming sometimes...
In the begining, I asked myself questions like: What little things make you happy today? What things brighten your day? Can you do one or two things for yourself that might bring a smile to your face. I pledged to do 25 gratitudes each day to help rewire my brain.
Anything counts and I reward myself for baby steps! Especially if I was depressed! Any effort deserves a gold star!
I'm still learning about myself, and learning what my life purpose is... But I know, 'm not alone... I feel like we are all on these forums, in our own way... trying to find pieces of our past selves we lost, looking to rekindle our passions and purpose and looking for direction.
Hope you feel less alone! I'm glad you are here with us. As the saying goes, the one thing humans have in common is this aching hole in the soul for wholeness... Welcome to our community :) Hope you find exactly what you are seeking :)