So depressed, no hope
My name is Noelle. I feel as if my depression is getting worse. I have isolated myself from any friends I used to have, as well as family as I don't get along with them. I lost my husband in an accident years ago and i'm raising two boys, one that has a disability. I'm in abad relationship that i can't seem to end out of fear of increased lonliness, even though I only see this man once or twice a week, if that. I'm terrified if I completely end it with him, he will find someone else, and I won't. I'm scared I'll be alone forever, because I feel no one will want to be with someone with as many issues as i have.
Hello Noelle
I just read your post. I am sorry to hear for all you have been going through. Having lost a loved one, being a single parent and also being in an unhappy relationshipsure are a lot to deal with and I can totally understand why you struggle with depression. I remember when I was a boy my mom went through hard times. Now that I am grown up I can support her much better. This will likely be the same in your case i.e. when your boys grown up you will have much more emotional support.
Because your depression is getting worse it is very important that you 1. You get help (therapy/medical) 2. That you have enough emotional support in terms of friends and family knowing what you are going through and be there for you. Isolating yourself, as you mentioned, is not good. 3. Changing self defeating inner talk i.e ?I feel no one will want to be with someone with as many issues as i have.? Realize that there are so many single people out there, including single dads, if you look you will find love. Luckily finding a partner has become easier with match making services etc.
I hope that 7cups can play a role in the management of the depression, it terms of emotional support. Please come chat often.
If you have some time please consider working through this guide and additional resources.
https://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/
http://www.singleandparenting.org/
The treatment approaches that have been shown to be most effective in reducing depression include cognitive restructuring, medication, improving interpersonal relationships, and activity scheduling. The linked guide expand and explain these concepts.
You mentioned you have no hope. By using these resources and drawing up an action plan I believe you can overcome this. Another aspect in defeating hopelessness is to nurture dreams and long term goals. Starting to study again is an example.
You mentioned you are not happy in your current relationship. If you may find yourself in a future breakup situation you will find a lot of useful information in the below guide.
https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
Hi, and thank you so much for responding, and caring. It feels good. Everything you said made so much sense and the fact that you took the time to share all that means alot. Yes, I am going to be facing a break up soon, I know that. I'm putting it off, but ultimately it is going to happen.
I am going to refer to those websites and see what info i can get from them. The more info the better. What helped me come out of a depression years ago (which was nothing as bad as now) was swimming. I may try to find a gym, but the problem right now is I have to keep costs down. I do attend a church group fridaynights called celebrate recovery, which I enjoy. However, that is the only social activity I have. Other than that i sit at home. At least I have started a job, although the pay is low, but it's a start. Thanks again. Take care and keep in touch with me! Noelle. xo