Self Criticism
For many years Ive been overly critical of myself to the point where it drove me to self-harm. Its starting to impede my ability to function. Not only is it harder for me to muster up motivation to do anything and making me harm myself its also affecting my physical health. Im tired all the time, I have to force myself to eat and I feel constant chest pain.
Though as much as self-criticism is destructive for me, I need it, without it I wont grow as a person. Of course the obvious answer is to balance out self-criticism with self-compassion, but how do you do that? Even if I was completely mentally sound I still would not be able to get an objective estimate of my own worth because my biases would always influence me.
Hi. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing issues with self harm and self criticism. Finding that balance between criticism and compassion can be very difficult indeed. Especially with the subjectivity of human experience, you're absolutely right that we cannot always get an objective estimate of our own worth.
I can't say if this method will work for you, but I practice some mindfulness exercises by listing things that I can either do well or at least do decently, usually through a list (could be a daily list or even the past year or something). It can be as simple as "I made someone smile today" or "I stuck to my exercise schedule". While it isn't exactly objective, I'm comparing my view of myself to my view of others. Like I think to myself, if someone else did something the way I did it, would I criticise them harshly for it? Or would I say they did alright. I use that to gauge whether I'm being unnecessarily harsh on myself and remind myself that I do have positive points and strengths despite my weaknesses.
Best of luck!