Regression and Recovery

I really hope that I put this in the right place, Ive never made my own forum post before. Anyway, I'm Jessica, Ive suffered from major depressive disorder and anxiety for 5 and a half years andI have been in recovery for almost 2 years. It has been very difficult and I have gone through hospitals and medication changes and so many other hardships to get to where I am today. However I feel stuck. I am happy to admit that I am finally stable, I have a job that I love working with children and no I didnt graduate highschool and yes I dropped out, but damn it I have a future and for the first time in forever I can see it. So why do I feel so wrong in this stage? Why do I feel so bad about saying this out loud like my reality will shatter from the sound of my voice? Im genuinely afraid to talk to my therapist because Im pretty sure talking about it will take it away. I cant jinxmy happy with talk of regression and I cant admit that I am happy because thatswhen it will be taken away. I guess what Im trying to ask is, is this normal? Is this part of the recovery process? If so, how do I overcome this? How do I talk to my therapist when I cant even admit these things to myself? How do I stop being so afraid of recovery when Im terrified most of all about regression?

I dont know what I expect to come from this or what I really even want from you guys. I was just kind of venting and my depersonalization took over. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Jessica