Putting myself first for the first time

I turned 23 a couple of days ago. I’ve given so much of my life to others, yet I haven’t allowed anyone to know me. This story is graphic, but this is my story. I experienced sexual abuse as a child. My family blamed me for it, and I believed it was my fault. I was only 6 years old. My home life was hard ever since I could remember. My parents fought a lot, and I always felt in the middle of adult problems as a child. My dad struggled with alcoholism. My mom was aggressively erratic, and I felt terrified seeing her because I never knew what mood she’d be in and how she’d treat me. I developed a binge eating disorder to cope with life’s difficulties, and I was vioently bullied in middle school for my weight and sexual orientation. I was homeless for years in high school, and I had to learn to live in that daily uncertainty. I was never really allowed to process all this, but these life experiences come with emotional ramifications. I’ve been battling a major depression this year, and I'm so thankful that I’m going through this now. I’ll eventually reach a place of compassion and gratitude for everyone and everything thats hurt me. But its not easy being expected to move forward with your life as if you’re not reckoning with the trauma that made a home in you years ago. Thank you for listening to my story. I’m gonna be ok ❤️