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Parent's don't believe me, Help??

ggb2816 May 18th, 2017

Hello,

I'm Gigi, I'm 19 years old and I have a problem. Unfortunately, for you to understand you will have to know the full story.

Im one of 4 kids, all boys, I'm the only girl. I'm the second born and my younger brother (not the youngest ) is Autistic. I was sexually abused as a child which led to depression and anxiety. On top of that I have ADHD. Now that that is done, here's my problem.

I was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago, however my parents believe that I'm faking it for attention. Last year I got so stuck in a depressive episode that I tried to take my life (I won't go into details for fear of triggering someone) only to wake up in the hospital, but even that wasn't enough. My parents still don't believe that I have severe depression. They put on this act for the doctors and my therapist acting all concerned but as soon as we're in the car they tell me to stop complaining and that I need to give up because I'm costing them money on therapy and hospital bills. They are so focused on my kid brother and keeping him happy that they seem to neglect me and my fragile mental state.

As soon as I got the chance, I left home. I didn't feel safe or loved there so I left the state with my fiancé. He has been so loving and understanding. Now my family is contacting me saying that they had to actually pay for someone to watch the kids since I'm not there and other things. I'm actually starting to feel guilty for leaving.

Did I do the right thing? I'm so confused.

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Hayley44 May 18th, 2017

@ggb2816 I don't think you should feel guilty, it sounds like even though you have left there main concern is still regarding your brother. So it just reinstates the reaso you left. Not all parents understand mental health along with a lot of other people out there 😢 But we both know it is very real and can affect your life more than people realise or understand. I am so happy that your life is better now with your fiancée your on a good path keep on it, keep happy :) you have done what is right for you seeing as no one had your best interest at heart. All the best!

1 reply
ggb2816 OP May 19th, 2017

@Hayley44

Thank you and sadly you're right. Not a lot of people take mental illness seriously. Thank you for the support.

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Amytomphson369 May 18th, 2017

You did the right thing don't worry because you have gone through so much you deserve your life you can visit your family but it is time you find a caring environment you feel comfortable in

2 replies
ggb2816 OP May 19th, 2017

@Amytomphson369

Thank you so much, I really need the support.

Glue May 21st, 2017

I agree with Amy. It is definitely time you find an environment that provides you the love and care you deserve. I do love my own parents, but they're not the best at understanding how I feel either. It's particularly difficult to explain my issues to my father. I am glad I've got friends that understand how I feel. As long as you have people that understand you and love you, leaving seems fine to me. You are the priority.

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@ggb2816

I am sorry to hear that you felt that way in your family. It is common in a family that have a sick child (or a child with a disability like Autism) to put all of their energy into the one and have a hard time seeing how it can, and does, impact on the other children in the family. There is a lot of literature on this (google: impact of illness in family on siblings). You are not alone. It also sounds like you did what you felt you needed to and that this worked out well for you. I think the fact that you are still talking to your family is a positive sign. One thing you may need to be aware of is that you might be more of a grown up than them at this time, because you understand yourself and your limitations. So establishing healthy boundaries might be something to consider. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am am positive others in this community have gone through similar situations.

Yours in reconnecting with your family in healthy ways.