Pain behind the smile
You know that feeling when you never talk about your depression, you never show it because people genuinely don't care about it. But you still live with it everyday. And then one day you just don't have the energy to hide it all behind the smile and you let yourself say "I'm not well" instead of always saying "I'm fine" and then all the people show is, how much they don't have any understanding. As if just saying "I'm not that well" as a response to a question you asked me, is rude or inappropriate, like my answer bothers you. I don't expect compassion but I don't like the way people respond to it. It's just my honest response, why do you even ask then if you're not willing to listen to the answer.
@bleurose So sorry you are hurting.
I feel your hurt.
Hopefully, things well get a little better for you.
Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. 🙂
I know exactly what you mean. Why can’t they just nod or something? Don’t ask if you don’t care, how hard is that?
I think the same way, exactly.
@bleurose Your welcome.
I know what you mean. I hate when people are just like “oh haha same” or confused. But also I’m the type of person that doesn’t know how to react when they’re like “oh what’s wrong?” Like... I don’t know. I’m confused, I’m sad, and I don’t have a specific reason for why. Just say you understand and let’s move on.
I agree.
I’ve lied to the question “how are you doing” for so many years. Probably since I was 10. But for about 20 years, I actually hid what happened to me before the age of 10. I actually believed my lie that “I’m fine” and pretended that nothing had happened to me. But I just can’t seem to go back to the place of being fake happy anymore. I can’t fake it because I did it for so many years. But the funny thing is... I’m learning who can accept the truthful answer and who can’t. Those who can’t handle the truth, I’d love to just say “you can’t handle the truth” (I forget which movie this is from but pretty sure it’s a Tom Cruise movie) because I know they honesty don’t care how I am doing and they’re simply asking because society has told us this is how we greet people.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree, once you reach the top line, you can't go back, it's hard to just keep accepting it as you used to and I think it's amazing that we don't anymore and that we have our ways of coping with it, whether it's right or wrong, whether it's easy or not. What feels right to us it's what's good.