One of the worst things about depression (For me)
One of the worst things about having clinical depression diagnosed as a teen (For me) is that you hate it so, so much. You hate the pain, the lack of energy and motivation, how it makes you feel. You hate that it's stolen years from you. And I want to heal, I do. I want to take the medication, and I do. But I'm terrified of who I am without my depression. It's become a part of me. Who will I be? I'm a pessimistic person. I use dark humor to express myself. Will I still have that? Ironically, my depression has become a comfort blanket for my insecurities caused by my depression. I try to romanticize happier moments through writing and art. I talk about good moments, I tell jokes. But I can't live my life like this. I'm afraid, though.
@TheDreamer17 honestly that does sound complicated. it's like a love hate relationship with your depression in that you have known it for so long but also can't keep living with it forever. There's no simple answer as you probably know, but I do believe you can learn to live with it better? Of course I am not you and do not know this for sure, but everything is a possibility. If it helps, please feel free to reach out to listeners here to talk more about what you are going through as that has helped me:)
