Old habits coming back
So I've had the most incredible and joyous summer of my life. Everything seemed to have been moving in an incredibly forward and positive motion, but at the end of this month I have to return to school, which is a place that really makes me unhappy and where my depression is at its most severe. I can already notice that I don't want to eat, I feel on the verge of tears all day, and my anxiety is really terrible right now just knowing I have to go back there. I'm not really sure how to cope. I just feel really at a loss as to how I can prevent myself from feeling as depressed as I did last semester. I don't want to fall back into my old destructive habits.
@fearlessLemon1054
Hi, sweet one. I honestly really appreciate you posting about this, I can guess that it's no easy task. I respect you greatly for being able to recognise when you think you're entering a spiral, which is a courageous step because it means you can seek help even faster. It sounds upsetting to enjoy a great summer, then feel things are getting worse. This is in no way your fault, so I hope you're not blaming yourself. I know others who have also felt the same experience and while I am no means an expert, I hope I can do a little to ease your pain.
Getting out of old habits is an incredibly amazing feeling, and falling back into them can feel as equally devastating. But, no matter how hard this storm hits, I truly believe you'll get through it. The lovely Essie asked what it is about school that makes you unhappy, and you answered with saying that it's the bad associations you have with it. That's completely understandable and a very valid point; when you connect a place with bad thoughts or negative feelings, you can often feel worse when returning to the place in question. Do you think you could replace those negative associations with better ones? It's easier said than done, but by being able to associate good thoughts and positive emotions with your school, perhaps it can lessen the severe effect it is having on you.
Would you like to tell me a little more about the situation? Such as, what thoughts go through your mind when you think of school and how you are currently coping with those emotions?
In regards to coping in general, there are normally 3 main ways of taking action: building healthy coping skills; identifying stressful situations, and managing stressful situations. (Source: x) If you take a look at that link, perhaps it may be of some use? Do let me know if I can offer any help or assistance in explaining.
I'm always around, if you need me. I'll try and reply swiftly if you post back, lovely; I really hope things work out. Again, I'm really inspired by the way you recognised your situation and took that step to seek support. <3