Not the life I dreamed of
A medium portion of my depression comes from me not being satisfied with the life I live. Growing up I always wanted to be in the military but because of my mental health I will never be able to. As silly as it may sound, this reality has caused many suicidal thoughts and years of depression. This just isn't what I wanted out of life.
I don't think it's silly to feel that way, I think it's totally understandable. I want to be a therapist but with my mental illnesses and finances it is probably not possible for me. It's okay to allow yourself the grief of losing that dream, you know? Something you may want to ask yourself is why you wanted to join the military. What about that profession inspires you? What do you like about it? What would you want to get out of being in the military? Is it possible that you could find another job or life that could accomplish those same goals? When I say this, I truly hope I am not invalidating your feelings. Because you have every right to feel the way you do. You know it's cliché but we don't get to chose the cards we're dealt, but we can chose what we do with them. And I bet even with your mental health there's a lot of good you can do in this world still. I would bet my right hand on it. I hope this helps you in some way.
