My opinion on the saying "Stay strong"
?Stay strong? is the most dumb depression phrase in my opinion. Not that I have anything wrong with those who are strong, the saying can be interpreted completely different. When you say ?stay strong? its can be taken as saying its ok to be strong but it isn't ok to be weak, like you have to shove down all your troubles and sad emotions and slap on a false happy face like everything is ok. Well, its ok to cry, its ok to be weak, its ok to crash down, or be insecure. Its ok to be emotional because its being a lot better than ignoring your sadness because when you hold everything in and don't let your emotions out, everything builds up and up and up inside until you can't take it anymore, no one can even help you because no one knows what's wrong so recovery becomes harder. Youre just stuck and shoving things down only makes life worse. Its so sad because there are so many people who live their lives like this, never telling anyone. ?Stay strong? can be taken to be encouragement to keep shoving your emotions down, continue not telling everyone you're ok. Even if you mean well by saying it, ?stay strong? just isnt worth using. Besides, people with depression or whatever issues you have are already strong, you wake up everyday and face all your problems and deal with life...and that sounds pretty f_cking strong to me.
I agree. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn has been that it's Ok to not always be ok. That having a weepy hour or a lethargic day doesn't mean the depression is winning. It means I'm human just like everyone else, which means I'm not always going to be happy and energetic 24/7. Saying "stay strong" is... I feel like it misses the point. Recovery isn't about strength, to me. It's more about strategy, if we're going to speak of it in terms of combat. The depression isn't going to just give up and go away if you hit it hard enough or put up a big enough wall. You have to think tactically, outsmart it, counterattack. None of which has got much to do with strength. I actually hadn't thought about it in exactly those terms until I started figuring out how to phrase this post--and now I think I really like that phrasing and will hold onto it. So thank you for saying that and giving me the inspiration and opportunity!
For me, telling people about my struggle required a lot more strength than controlling my emotions and pretending to be ok. Of course "shoving my emotions down" all the time takes effort, but since I always wanted to seem normal and fine, I was used to it. "Stay strong" places so much pressure on the people. I don't think that it would help a recovery.
I think telling somebody "You are strong, and showing your emotions is incredible brave. It's ok to cry." is better. I wish someone had told me that.
I'm with you on this one. I remember when I was going through my own rough shit, people would say stuff like "get over it," or "stop being so miserable." It's as if they think it's all just a mindset and that it's the easiest shit in the world to just throw off the way you feel and go "Yo, I feel a thousand times happier now." Those people don't understand what it's like to be miserable, or to feel the crushing, atmospheric suffocation of depression. When people saystay strong I think you should be happy they are offering you an insight, when really, it's not about being strong at all. Do what you can, to make yourself happy.Depression isn't just about endurance, it's about adaptability, and learning to deal with the monster. So no. Don't juststay strong,fight back and don't give it the acknowledgement it craves.
I totally agree with you!
This is why I haven't told anyone about my depression. Except my mother, who basically said, "Stay strong - you're just a teenager and you'll grow out of it." Stupid phrases like this have made me want to hide this huge part of my life because if people know, they'll either worry way too much or think of me as weak and over-emotional - even the ones who might be able to understand. And everyone in my family just tells me "cheer up!" If only they knew it wasn't really that simple...
