Lost my job, lost my direction

I recently lost my job. My department let go ~50% of employees and I understand I would not have been let go under normal times and it is not a reflection of my ability, but I am still holding onto the pain. I'm still holding onto the fact that I was not part of the other 50% and that the fate of my employment is in the hands of other people and this will probably be the case in my next job(s) as well. I have never done well with uncertainty, so the pandemic + now the job insecurity has exponentially increased my fears and anxieties. And when I look for jobs nowadays (that is, on the days I gather the energy to do so) , I realize many companies are on hiring freezes or take much longer to reply. I do not tell my family of my thoughts, as I do not want to worry them, and I do not tell my friends either, as every is facing something of their own. I feel lost in this world.