Life is just a mess and it sucks.
Back when I was around 9 to 10 years old I always wanted to be 18 and to finally graduate high school. I always envisioned a brighter future a future where I was happy and didn't have many problems......pie in the sky. Now that I'm going for 20 years and just recently graduated from high school only now I start to realise that life keeps being just sad and bad for me. There is basically 3 option that I have for my future. 1st is to start working and start earning cash so that I can save money to finally move out of my "home" and live by myself. 2nd option is going to university/college also a good option because I would also be able to move out of my current "home" + I wouldn't need to see my broken family anymore and i would be able to pursue a major I actually like (political science) . 3rd and last option is basically just staying in bed until the end of days.....to be honest the 3rd option seems the best option. Sometimes at night I think about how life would have been for me if I was "normal". Would i have been better at school ? Would I have been more confident ? Would've I been able to find a gf ? Maybe and I guess in that same universe John Delaney would've been President of the USA and John Hickenlooper would've been Vice President......but anyways. 2 weeks have past since I graduated from high school and eventhough I wanted to go to university/college I still haven't applied for any university and neither for dorms or apartments. Maybe my brain is trying to say to me "you are not prepared and you never will be" and maybe that's true.........life is just a mess and honestly sometimes I wish I was never born.
@LoveCabelloCane29
Hey there, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, and feelings about the future. It can be scary thinking about it and sometimes the best option would be to stay at home and have things go like they already are. Yes i guess when you are younger you vision how your life will be when you finish high school and it sucks finally reaching adulthood then finding it isn't so good. Sounds like you have some decisions to make and some are harder than others. I guess you'd feel differently about not seeing your family as much. Anyways I might message you so we can talk some more about things.
Let me share a quote about finishing high school feel free to share your thoughts and feelings that come to mind.
I was trying to find something that would fit this post. I am not sure perhaps like you don't feel there is a passion but choosing a path is hard.