Just distracting myself?

So for a long while I've been very depressed. It's been nothing suicidal but I've just felt hopeless, lonely, alone, numb, and just general depression. It seemed like it would go on and off but then I realized that the only time its not there is when I play games, watch YouTube or anime etc. So i started doing those things a lot more thinking they were helping. But the moment I stop it's just a wave of reality that hits me and it comes back again. I thought I was doing better and finally getting over it but I realized that I'm only distracting my mind from it and it's never really gone. Since I've realized that I'm at a loss on how to get over it. I dont want to tell my parents because there's a certain reason that causing it and they cant know about it. And plus, I'm scared of therapy (which is ironic because i want to be a psychologist in the future) and I'm scared to take meds for it because i dont want to have to take medication to be happy. I dont know I'm just really lost.